Magazine
The Amber Heard Baby Daddy Mystery & My 3AM Google Rabbit Hole
It's exactly 3:14 AM. My 11-month-old son, who we'll refer to as Baby D to protect his future digital footprint, has decided that sleeping through the night is a legacy feature he no longer supports. I'm pacing the hardwood floor...
Building an amazon baby shower registry without losing your mind
It's 3:14 in the morning, the absolute peak hour for making terrible life choices, and I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of the internet. My wife is fast asleep. I, however, am wide awake and researching wipe warmers. I've just...
Why the all on me lil baby track hits different as a London dad
It was 2:14 PM on a grim, relentlessly drizzly Tuesday in London, and I was on my hands and knees scraping something that I desperately hoped was mashed avocado off the skirting board. Twin A (Florence) was howling on the...
Why the All Day Baby Phase Will Break You and Rebuild You
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a half-eaten cold Pop-Tart while swaying aggressively in the dark. My oldest, who's now five and a walking cautionary tale for why we don't negotiate with terrorists, was...
The Ugly Truth About The Baby Emmanuel Haro Case Rumors
Last night, I was standing over a laundry basket at one in the morning, trying to match tiny socks that the dryer had inevitably eaten, while my phone played a continuous loop of TikTok videos on the coffee table. My...
Why Your Innocent TV Search Could Show Your Toddler an R-Rated Movie
It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was quite literally running on a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines and the sheer desperate hope that my eight-month-old would just close her eyes. She had been screaming since midnight, teething...
Why Finding the Perfect Baby Girl Song Actually Broke My Brain
It was 3:14 AM on a damp Tuesday in November, and the blue light from my phone was practically searing my corneas. I was sitting on the edge of the gray nursery gliderβthe one I insisted we needed because Pinterest...
Navigating Baby Girl Showtimes: A Dad's Movie Survival Guide
My mother-in-law told me taking an infant to a movie theater would permanently short-circuit her developing brain. The guy who makes my oat milk cortado at the local coffee shop insisted that baby-friendly matinees are the only way new parents...
Realistic baby girl shower ideas that will not exhaust the mother
I was 33 weeks pregnant, ankles looking like over-proofed dough, trapped on a wicker throne in my aunt's living room. Thirty women were staring at me while my cousin measured my abdomen with two-ply toilet paper. Every masi in a...