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babyhealthparenting humourpostpartumsafe sleeptwin dad
Exhausted dad staring at his phone while covered in unexplained baby puree

What I Learned About Birth Plans After Sparkle Megan Has A Baby

I was halfway through surgically removing a layer of cemented, fossilised Weetabix from the highchair straps when my phone vibrated off the kitchen counter. A friend had sent me a link to an article about Megan Walerius—the bubbly, sequin-wearing contestant...

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Babybaby safetyfatherhoodParenting Guidetwin dadUK
A sleep-deprived dad staring blankly at a hardware-mounted stair barrier while twin toddlers plot to dismantle it

The Complete Disaster of Buying a Baby Gate for Stairs

I'm halfway down the staircase, suspended entirely in mid-air at 2:14 in the morning, clutching a sticky bottle of strawberry Calpol in one hand and a shrieking twenty-pound toddler in the other. My left foot has just hooked firmly under...

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A cautious dad inspecting a grassy backyard for baby snakes while his twin toddlers play safely on an elevated wooden deck

Surviving the American baby copperhead panic as a clueless dad

The humidity in North Carolina in late August is a physical assault, the kind of oppressive heat that makes your clothes feel like a wet apology. I was standing on my American in-laws' patio, clutching a rapidly melting gin and...

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A sleep-deprived dad holding a teething panda toy while staring blankly

Tommy Richman, 3AM Teething, and the Death of My Dignity

It was 3:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time that doesn't actually exist outside of the newborn bubble or the queue for a dreadful kebab in your early twenties. I was standing in the kitchen in a pair of stained...

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90s nostalgiaearly developmenthumorlate nightscreen timetwin dad
A tired father holding a wooden play gym while a toddler stares at a smartphone screen

Uncle Baby Billy: How my toddler found HBO at 3am

It's precisely 3:14 in the morning, a time I'm intimately familiar with because it's the exact hour the ambient temperature in our London flat drops just enough to offend my twin daughters. Florence is currently wedged sideways across my chest,...

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A tired dad scrolling on his phone while twin girls play on the floor

Why The Uncle Richard Is My Baby Daddy Drama Actually Helps

It's 3:14 in the morning. One of the twins has inexplicably managed to lodge a rogue, rock-hard piece of toast behind the nursery radiator, and the other is performing a prolonged, operatic wail because our profoundly indifferent tabby cat looked...

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Exhausted dad in a London registry office holding twins wrapped in blankets

The Agony of Choosing Unique Baby Girl Names at the Registry

The pen was hovering over the official birth registration form, my hand physically shaking, and not just because I was running on four minutes of broken sleep and half a stale Hobnob. We were sitting in the fluorescent purgatory of...

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90s nostalgiababy showerbaby shower themesorganic cottonParenting Guidetwin dad
A tired dad holding a wooden buffalo next to some Hundred Acre Wood decorations

The Accidental Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Guide for Anxious Dads

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo. I know this because I'm you, and I remember the exact texture of the bathmat you're presently sitting on while trying to escape the chaos of your...

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6-month-oldbudgetingfeedingSolid Food & Finger Foodtwin dad
A rather suspicious-looking baby inspecting a cooked baby bella mushroom

Why Baby Bellas Are Just Portobellos in Denial (And Perfect for Bab...

I was standing in the vegetable aisle at Sainsbury’s, a twin balanced on each hip, desperately trying to distinguish between a punnet of white mushrooms, baby bellas, and portobellos. That's when I learned the great agricultural lie of our generation:...

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