The Baby Bottle Pop Hack That Actually Works (And What Fails)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen tiles at 2:14 AM wearing that grey Def Leppard t-shirtβthe one with the hole in the left armpit that smells vaguely like old French roast and pure...
The yellow baby panic and other postpartum surprises
Three in the morning. The cheap humidifier is humming in the corner, throwing a weird blue light across the bassinet. I'm staring at my newborn son's face, trying to figure out if the bulb is casting strange shadows or if...
What a wild baby beaver in Chicago taught me about toddlers
We were standing ankle-deep in mysterious brown water at the North Park Village Nature Center when I saw it. The temperature was hovering around forty-eight degrees. My son had already thrown his left shoe into a patch of reeds. I...
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
Why raising a toddler feels exactly like domesticating a wild mammal
It was three in the morning and my son was slick with sweat, drool, and the unmistakable rage of a creature who had just discovered teeth. He was thrashing against my chest, refusing the bottle I was offering. I was...
Dear Exhausted Jess: The Baby Beluga Magic You Need Right Now
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're sobbing into a sour-smelling burp cloth right now. It's 3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rigid-plank scream that makes your own spine ache, the toddler is asleep in the hallway for some...
My Guide to Every Type of Gap Baby You Will Actually Encounter
I was sitting on the sticky linoleum floor of the Woodfield Mall family restroom when the reality of my life choices hit me. My toddler was screaming at a decibel level that usually triggers a code blue on a pediatric...
Secrets Baby Beach Aruba: The Midnight Hotel Panic
It was 2:14 AM, and I was wearing a fleece bathrobe over a maternity bathing suit top because my four-month-old, Leo, had just spit up breastmilk all over my favorite oversized college tee. My husband Dave was snoring in the...
Spearmint for Babies: A Dad's Guide to Minty Leaves and Tiny Clothes
I'm currently standing in my kitchen holding a bundle of wet green leaves in one hand and my phone in the other, feeling completely paralyzed by data overload. My mother-in-law texted me yesterday saying I should rub spearmint oil directly...