Magazine

A tired mom dealing with static postpartum hair regrowth around her hairline

Postpartum Baby Bangs: A Dad's Guide to the Hair Regrowth Glitch

Dear Marcus of six months ago: Put down the industrial drain snake and take a deep breath. I know you just pulled a clump of hair out of the shower drain that looks roughly the size of a wet squirrel,...

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Toddler boy playing with green rubber blocks on a messy living room rug

Why a Baby Alligator is My Toddler's Weirdest Obsession

It's Tuesday at 2 PM, and I'm standing in this aggressively air-conditioned reptile sanctuary off the highway in Florida, sweating through a vintage band tee that used to be my favorite before it got permanently stained with oat milk. I'm...

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Exhausted dad holding a wooden play gym toy while looking skeptically at a smartphone screen.

How The Creepy Screaming Ash Baby Internet Joke Ruined My Tuesday

My sister-in-law texted me at 6:15 AM demanding I lock all our household iPads in a fireproof safe because a "soot infant" is destroying the youth. My mate Dave replied to a WhatsApp group roughly forty-five minutes later arguing that...

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A tired mom holding a baby dressed in a soft organic cotton ribbed bodysuit.

The Reality of Dressing a Baby Without Losing Your Mind

Within forty-eight hours of bringing Leo home from the hospital, I received three completely contradictory pieces of advice about how to dress him. My mother-in-law hovered over his bassinet, clutching her coffee mug, aggressively whispering that he needed a fleece...

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A spilled cup of coffee on a kitchen counter next to a smartphone showing a celebrity baby news headline

My Coffee Disaster and the Wild Reality of Sixty-Year-Old Parenting

My feet were literally sticking to the linoleum. It's 6:12 AM on a Tuesday, I'm wearing Mark's faded college hoodie that smells permanently like old milk and vague regret, and Maya is aggressively trying to shove a plastic triceratops into...

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Small tan sheepskin booties sitting next to a half empty cup of cold coffee on a messy rug.

The Ridiculous Truth About Buying Baby Uggs For Your Newborn

November 2017. I was sitting at a crowded Starbucks on 4th street, wearing yoga pants that were definitely covered in spit-up, frantically wrestling a tiny, caramel-colored sheepskin bootie onto seven-month-old Maya's left foot for the eighth time in twenty minutes....

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Dad looking exhausted holding two babies surrounded by useless baby products

Surviving the Absolute Avalanche of Useless Newborn Baby Stuff

At 34 weeks pregnant, my wife and I entered a fugue state in a suburban retail park and bought a machine specifically designed to heat baby wipes to exactly 37 degrees Celsius. I remember standing at the till, handing over...

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Tired mom holding a crying newborn in a dark nursery

Why Looking Up Ice Ice Baby Lyrics At 3 AM Changed My Parenting

It was 3:17 in the morning, and my oldest was screaming with the kind of red-faced, breathless stamina that makes you seriously question your life choices. I was sitting on a cheap, half-deflated yoga ball in our drafty Texas farmhouse,...

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A tired dad holding a congested twin baby trying to spot RSV symptoms during the winter virus season

When to Worry About RSV Symptoms Baby: A Dad's Survival Guide

Don't spend three hours scrolling through a parenting forum thread from 2014 about baby chest retractions while your daughter breathes like a tiny, congested pug on your chest. I did this on a Tuesday last November, and it resulted in...

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