Magazine

Sarah drinking coffee while looking stressed at a laptop

Why I’m Terrified of the Internet and Buying Fox Blankets Instead

So my mother-in-law told me last week that I should just throw all our iPads into the nearest large body of water, my tech-bro brother-in-law said that if my seven-year-old Maya isn't coding in Python by now she’s basically going...

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A sleep-deprived father researching corporate fertility benefits on his phone at 3am

The Tesla babies program and my 3am scrolling spiral

It was 3:42 am on a Tuesday, and I was pinned beneath Twin A, who was rhythmically exhaling sour milk vapour directly into my collarbone. The house was locked in that heavy, unnatural silence that only exists just before a...

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Teen playing Sims on a laptop while a toddler plays with wooden toys on the floor

Finding the Sugar Baby Mod Sims 4 on My Niece's PC Screen Last Week

I was sitting on my sister's aggressively beige sectional in Naperville, enjoying thirty seconds of silence. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs. I was watching the green night-vision feed on the baby m screen, just waiting for the inevitable moment...

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A wooden baby play gym sitting on a messy living room rug next to a coffee cup.

What the Baby Boom Generation Actually Got Right About Parenting

I was sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom bathtub at 3:17 AM in a pair of gray college sweatpants that smelled vaguely like sour milk and desperation, crying over an Excel spreadsheet. Literally. I was aggressively typing Maya's...

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Sarah holding a coffee cup while looking exhausted at a pink TV screen

Why The Peppa Pig Baby Gender Reveal Sent Me Into a Tailspin

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded blue IKEA rug in the den. You're wearing those grey sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, drinking coffee that went cold two hours...

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Exhausted dad sitting on a messy sofa holding a baby monitor while a film plays.

Why The Oho Enthan Baby Movie Is Our Date Night Survival Test

The biggest lie the parenting industrial complex ever sold us is the concept of the 8:00 PM transition. You know the one I meanβ€”the mythical hour where the house suddenly falls silent, the ambient lighting turns universally flattering, and you...

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Colorful baby jeeter tubes next to organic baby teething toys on a wooden table

What Every Parent Needs to Know About the 'Baby Jeeter' Scare

I was on my hands and knees under my younger brother Tyler’s incredibly ugly leather sofa, fishing out a rogue handful of cheerios that had somehow become cemented in golden retriever hair, when I saw it. A brightly colored, tiny...

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Tired dad holding two toddlers while playing pop music on a smartphone

Surviving Twins With Baby Lyrics: Justin Bieber To The Rescue

Tuesday, 5:43 AM. Florence (Twin A) has somehow managed to lodge a piece of dried Weetabix perfectly up her left nostril, while Matilda (Twin B) is executing a flawless, lung-busting temper tantrum because her water is, in her professional two-year-old...

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Jess holding a wooden baby gym while her infant plays on a blanket.

What Being a Baby Mama Actually Means Off the Internet

I was sitting on the floor of my guest bedroomβ€”which I generously call my "Etsy shipping headquarters"β€”with packing tape stuck to my thigh, listening to a 90s hip-hop playlist, when a song came on loudly dropping the phrase "baby mama."...

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