Magazine

A tired dad surrounded by baby gear looking at the morning news

The truth about royal family baby number 4 (and my own panic)

It was 6:43 AM on a violently rainy Tuesday, and Twin A had just successfully wedged a soggy, half-eaten piece of Marmite toast into the lower vents of our living room radiator. Twin B, not to be outdone by her...

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A tired millennial dad looking at his 11-month-old baby in an organic cotton bodysuit

Searching For The Real Love Baby Connection At Eleven Months

My mother-in-law told me that if I pick him up every single time he cries, I'm going to completely ruin his operating system permanently. My barista, entirely unprompted while handing me my third espresso of the morning, told me that...

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Portland dad watching a documentary while his baby sleeps in the next room

Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields and the Myth of Normal Parenting

I'm currently paused on a frame of a 1980s television talk show host asking an 11-year-old child an incredibly inappropriate question about her body. The harsh glow of the TV is illuminating the half-empty bottles on our coffee table, my...

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Mom and baby sitting on a colorful leaf pattern blanket away from screens

Pretty Baby Full Movie Searchers: A Mom's Take on Screens

I was sitting on my living room floor at 10 PM last Tuesday, folding what felt like my four-thousandth load of tiny toddler socks, when I went down a massive Google rabbit hole. I had just finished watching that two-part...

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A tired mother holding a baby in a simple organic cotton bodysuit

Why the pretty baby 1978 aesthetic is ruining modern motherhood

I spent three hours last Tuesday trying to wedge a screaming four-month-old into a neutral-toned, structured linen romper just so my mother-in-law wouldn't text me about how unkempt her granddaughter looked in my Instagram stories. The romper had eight tiny...

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A bottle of OPI Baby Take a Vow sheer pink nail polish sitting on a bathroom counter next to baby lotion

Why OPI Baby Take A Vow Is The Only Polish Surviving My Chaos

I was 38 weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor because reaching my toes was a logistical impossibility, attempting to paint my fingernails a color called something ridiculous like "Neon Midnight." It was...

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An expectant father looking panicked next to an ultrasound monitor displaying a baby heart rate.

The Baby Heart Rate Gender Myth: Twin Dad Survives The Scan

The room at Guy’s Hospital was aggressively dim, smelling faintly of antibacterial wipes and the specific, cold terror of impending parenthood. My wife was lying on the examination table with a generous dollop of freezing blue gel smeared across her...

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A tired mom holding a baby wearing noise canceling earmuffs at a loud wedding reception.

Baby J DJ Drama: Surviving Loud Wedding Dance Floors

I was huddled in the damp corner of a rustic wedding barn outside Austin, vibrating. And I don't mean figuratively. The bass from the DJ's speakers was physically shaking the cheap folding chair I was sitting on while I desperately...

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Marcus looking exhausted while holding a tangled mess of baby monitor cables and a tablet

My Glitchy Attempt at Sci-Fi Parenting With an 11-Month-Old

My guildmate on Discord told me to just slap on a noise-canceling headset and game while the baby slept on my chest. My mother-in-law insisted the ambient 5G from the Wi-Fi router was actively rearranging his aura. And a random...

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