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12-month-oldbabylondon dadmental healthorganic baby clothesparenting humor
A tired dad sitting on the stairs while his twin toddlers cause chaos in the living room

Why the all on me lil baby track hits different as a London dad

It was 2:14 PM on a grim, relentlessly drizzly Tuesday in London, and I was on my hands and knees scraping something that I desperately hoped was mashed avocado off the skirting board. Twin A (Florence) was howling on the...

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baby behaviorbaby teethingdevelopmental milestoneslondon dadparenting humor
Exhausted dad looking at twin toddlers who are currently chewing on the coffee table.

How to Survive the Feral Baby Hyena Phase of Human Toddlerhood

It happened at exactly 3:14 on a Tuesday morning. I was attempting the treacherous transfer from shoulder to cotβ€”a maneuver that requires the stealth of a ninja and the steady hands of a bomb disposal expertβ€”when Florence woke up. She...

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A wooden baby memory container sitting open on an untidy living room rug.

Confessions: Why a Plastic Bag is a Terrible Baby Keepsake Box

I'm currently sitting cross-legged on a heavily stained rug at two in the morning, holding a small, crinkled ziplock bag that looks suspiciously like evidence from a low-budget crime scene. Inside is a tiny, pale wisp of hair. I know,...

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A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

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A tired father attempting to trim his sleeping baby's nails using a camping headlamp

The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase

I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...

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Tired dad staring at a banking app in a hospital car park

Surviving a Baby With No Money Left (Especially When It's Twins)

I was sitting in the driver’s seat of a 2011 Vauxhall Astra in the car park of St Thomas’ Hospital, staring at the NatWest app on my cracked phone screen. My wife was in the passenger seat, clutching a strip...

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6-month-oldbaby feedingBaby-Led Weaninglondon dadparenthoodparenting humor
A messy kitchen table with scattered baby pancake pieces and a wooden highchair

Surviving the great baby pancake experiment of our weaning era

I'm currently scraping a piece of fossilised banana oat batter off the kitchen ceiling with a plastic spatula. It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the great weaning experiment has officially breached containment. Maya is covered in a sticky paste...

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A tiny baby pig standing next to scattered wooden nursery blocks

Why Getting A Pet Piglet Might Actually Break Your Spirit

When we decided the twins needed to learn some sort of vague responsibility that didn't involve keeping me awake until 3am, the advice rolled in like a thick London fog. My mother suggested a golden retriever because they supposedly teach...

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Exhausted dad holding a crying baby wrapped in an organic cotton blanket

A Letter To Myself About Surviving The Evening Scream Fest

I found this note sitting in my drafts folder from exactly six months ago. My mate Dave had just texted me from the pub (a man who currently thinks 'tired' means getting eight hours of sleep but waking up once...

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