Surviving the great weaning transition of 2022
It was precisely 11:14 am on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair trying to scrape what appeared to be organic beige cement off the kitchen ceiling with a silicone spatula. The twins were exactly six months...
Why your newborn sounds like a tiny restless barnyard animal
It's three in the morning and you're hovering over the bassinet with your phone flashlight half-covered by your thumb. You're doing this because the tiny human you birthed is making noises that belong in a barnyard. It's a mix of...
Decoding the Angel Emoji Baby: What It Really Means for Parents
I was sitting in the front seat of my Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot yesterday, aggressively sucking down an iced latte that had already started to separate into that weird milky water at the bottom, wearing leggings that...
The Ultimate Real-Life Baby Steps Trophy Guide for Parents
I was elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop, desperately trying to get twelve custom nursery signs out the door before the post office closed, when I heard it. The distinct, terrifying sound of a twenty-pound human achieving bipedal...
That First Slippery Baby Pear And The Constipation Chronicles
My thumb was covered in aquaphor and desperation. It was day four of the great solid-food bowel strike, and my son was looking at me like I had betrayed him. Starting solids at six months is heavily romanticized on the...
Raising A Linxia Baby: The Unfiltered Truth About Newborn Life
I was standing in the Target baby aisle at 9 PM on a Tuesday, completely dead inside, while my oldest son Jackson screamed against my chest in a carrier that I was probably wearing wrong. He was three weeks old....
The disaster of picking a baby boy easter outfit
It was ten in the morning on a Sunday and I was staring at a mustard-yellow blowout that had completely breached the hull of a forty-dollar miniature linen suit. My mother-in-law was knocking on the powder room door, asking if...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Vestidos de Bebe for Your Girl
We were sitting in the third row at First Baptist Church on Easter Sunday, the air conditioning was broken, and my oldest daughter Mackenzie was literally trying to claw her way out of her own clothes. She was maybe two...
The 3 AM Disaster That Taught Me Everything About Baby Loveys
Tuesday, 6:42 PM. The Central Line. Specifically, the perilous two-inch gap between the train carriage and the platform at St. Paul's station. That's exactly where it went. Maya's beloved, slightly grey-tinged, biologically questionable scrap of fabric slipped from her sticky...