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A tired dad looking at a spreadsheet of baby gifts on his laptop.

Troubleshooting the New Mums and Baby Gifts Australia Market

Three different people gave me completely conflicting advice when my sister in Sydney had her baby last month. My neighbor here in Portland told me to ship a six-foot plush kangaroo because "babies love scale." My childless project manager suggested...

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A slightly battered 90s unicorn plush toy sitting on a nursery shelf

The May 21st Beanie Baby Illusion: Vintage Plushies vs Reality

I was three pints deep into a Tuesday evening and aggressively outbidding a woman named 'Susan_Collects_94' on eBay for a slightly moth-eaten unicorn. My wife walked into the kitchen, took one look at the glowing iPad screen, and asked if...

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A vintage Ty Lizzy the Lizard beanie baby sitting next to a wooden nursery play gym

The chaotic truth about hunting down a May 11th beanie baby

Whatever you do, don't lie in the dark at two in the morning, covered in a thin but incredibly resilient layer of what I can only hope is regurgitated formula, fiercely battling a stranger on the internet for a stuffed...

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Vintage 1990s stuffed bear sitting next to modern organic baby toys

A letter to past me about the march 27th beanie baby obsession

Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom tub at two in the morning. The baby is finally asleep after three false starts, and instead of closing your eyes, you're squinting at...

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Mom holding a vintage green plush bear next to a baby nursery shelf

Why That Vintage March 17 Beanie Baby Belongs on a High Shelf

I was literally sitting on the living room floor, knee-deep in a mountain of unfolded toddler shirts and cardboard shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, when the front screen door slammed. My mom breezed into the house carrying a cloudy...

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Vintage plush toy sitting on a nursery shelf next to organic baby items

The Honest Truth About Finding A March 13 Beanie Baby For Your Kid

I'm sitting on my couch at two in the morning, bathed in the blue light of my phone, watching a twenty-three-year-old mother weep on her timeline because she finally found 'Celebrate' on a resale app. That's the specific vintage stuffed...

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A worn vintage plush cat sitting on a high shelf out of reach of twin toddlers

The July 26 Beanie Baby Incident That Broke My Sanity

I'm currently on my hands and knees holding a pair of tweezers and a remarkably weak mobile phone torch in my mouth, desperately trying to extract a single plastic pellet from the gap between our original Victorian floorboards. Twin A...

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Vintage plush toys sitting on a high nursery shelf out of reach

Why that july 21st beanie baby is a nursery nightmare

Listen, it was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday when my mother-in-law proudly handed me a plastic grocery bag that smelled faintly of mothballs and damp basement. Inside was Bijoux the Poodle, a vintage plush toy with a faded...

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A vintage plush dodo bird sitting safely on a high nursery shelf away from the baby crib

Why You Should Never Put a september 25th beanie baby in a Crib

It was 2017, it was roughly 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing Dave’s old college track sweatshirt that had a mysterious, permanent yogurt stain right on the collar. Maya wasn't even a thought yet, and Leo was exactly...

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