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Dear Anxious Me: The Absolute Truth About Buying A Crib Mattress
Dear Sarah from six months ago. You're currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of your sister's guest room, which she just painted a highly questionable shade of mustard yellow. You have half a cold, oat milk latte balanced precariously on...
The Pastoral Fantasy Delusion: Surviving Baby Goats
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was covered in a thin but distinct layer of regurgitated infant milk, and I was knee-deep in a Rightmove spiral looking at semi-derelict farmhouses in Somerset. The twins had been tag-teaming a...
Why I Threw Out My First Babyβs Clothes for Organic Cotton
I was sitting on the floor of my Texas laundry room last Tuesday, elbow-deep in a plastic storage bin labeled "0-6 Months," when I pulled out a stiff, neon-orange "Daddy's Little Monster" onesie I bought for my oldest kid five...
The Firmware Update on Rice Cereal For Babies and First Foods
I was standing in aisle four of our local Portland New Seasons market, staring blankly at a cardboard box of beige dust, desperately checking the version history on baby feeding protocols. My 11-month-old was securely strapped to my chest, actively...
Smoked Baby Back Ribs: Safely Feeding Your Messy Little Ones
My neighbor Jim handed my nine-month-old a giant, sticky rib bone last summer at a Fourth of July block party. "Look at him!" Jim yelled over the sound of a lawnmower, completely ignoring the sheer, unadulterated panic on my face....
Surviving the baby dinosaur phase without losing your mind
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to correct a two-year-old on the precise anatomical posture of a Stegosaurus. I learned this at 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, standing in my kitchen holding a lukewarm mug of tea while Twin One shrieked...
I Googled "Baby Chicks For Sale" And Now My Living Room Smells Like...
I'm currently staring at a 100-litre plastic storage tub in my hallway that's emitting a continuous, high-pitched sound, much like a smoke alarm that has somehow developed a needy personality. Inside this tub are four baby chicks. I blame Instagram,...
The 3 AM Reality of Raising a Baby Chick With a Toddler
It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. I'm standing over my bathroom sink with a warm, damp paper towel, delicately wiping dried feces off the backside of a baby chick. My husband is asleep. My toddler is asleep. I'm...
The parking lot panic and the truth about keeping kids safe
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting in the back of your Honda CR-V in the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue. The doors are locked. The engine is running. You're sweating through your grey scrub top. You just...