The Real Reason I Cried About My Baby's Name at the Hospital
I was sitting in exactly the wrong position on that terrible plastic-covered hospital mattress, wearing mesh underwear that I swear was designed as a medieval torture device, nursing a lukewarm cup of what the cafeteria boldly claimed was coffee, when...
The spreadsheet reality of picking baby boy names with J
I'm sitting at the kitchen island at 2am, staring at a deeply neurotic Excel spreadsheet colour-coded by syllable count. This was three years ago, roughly halfway through my wife’s pregnancy, before the NHS ultrasound technician cheerfully announced "it’s two girls,...
Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Naming Our Baby Akira
Dear Jess from six months ago—put down your sweet tea, close the Pinterest tab where you're looking at custom nursery signs, and for the love of everything holy, delete that hashtag draft from your Instagram. You're sitting there on the...
Finding the Right Medical Baby Synonym: A Parent's Guide to Stages
It was a Tuesday at 8 PM, which is basically the witching hour in the fluorescent-lit aisles of Target, and I was holding a fleece sleep sack with little grey clouds on it while silently crying into my half-empty iced...
A letter to myself about the absolute farce of finding rare baby gi...
Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the hallway, a chewed-up blue biro in your mouth, staring at a stack of nursery registration forms while Twin B attempts to post half a soggy...
The Hospital Wi-Fi Stalled Our Magic Baby Names
The fluorescent light in room 412 of Providence Hospital had this specific 60-hertz hum that was drilling directly into my sleep-deprived prefrontal cortex. I had a lukewarm, terrible cafeteria coffee in one hand and a state-mandated birth certificate form in...
Surviving the Minefield of Hispanic Baby Girl Names
The greatest lie they peddle in those glossy parenting magazines—usually the ones featuring a serene mother in white linen looking lovingly at a perfectly clean infant—is that picking a name for your child is a beautiful, intuitive process. They suggest...
My 3 AM breakdown over a 700-year-old pregnancy prediction chart
Listen, the bathroom tiles were freezing against my bare legs, and my phone screen was turned down to that barely-visible dim setting so I wouldn't wake my husband. I was exactly seven weeks pregnant. I felt like I had swallowed...
The Unfiltered Guide To Baby Names 2025 And Avoiding Regret
I was standing in the middle of a Target aisle at 8:42 PM on a Tuesday, wearing maternity sweatpants with a questionable, crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh, when my husband confidently suggested the name "Garth" for our unborn...