Magazine

Toddler playing with soft building blocks on the floor

A letter to myself before I pressed play on that movie

Dear Priya from six months ago. Listen. Put down the television remote and step away from the streaming menu. I know it's eight in the evening, your toddler has been screaming about steering wheels since naptime, and you're operating on...

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Tired dad in a messy Portland apartment holding a baby wearing an organic cotton bodysuit while staring at a laptop.

The "Baby Daddy" Firmware Update: What I Actually Know Now

3:14 AM. I'm standing in our kitchen illuminated only by the microwave clock, holding a lukewarm bottle of formula, and staring at a Google Sheet I built to track our son's diaper output. The rows are color-coded by consistency. My...

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A stressed mom holding a coffee mug looking down at the nursery baseboards

Finding a Baby Cockroach in the Nursery (And Not Losing Your Mind)

It was 2:14 AM. I was standing in the middle of Maya's nursery wearing Dave's giant, horribly stained Villanova hoodie from 2008, holding a half-empty bottle of breastmilk that had somehow already gone completely cold. I was practically sleepwalking when...

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A tired dad leaning against the kitchen counter next to a Baby Brezza

Surviving Twins with the Baby Brezza Formula Pro Countertop Robot

There's a very specific type of panic that sets in at 3:14 AM when you realise the expensive countertop milk robot you bought to save your sanity might actually be watering down your babies' food. I was standing in the...

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Sleep-deprived dad staring at a Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro on a kitchen counter

Why the Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro ruined my kitchen sink

It's 3:14 AM. The yellow glow of the kitchen extractor fan is casting long, dramatic shadows across the worktop, and my left sleeve is completely soaked in tepid, sour-smelling milky water because I didn't roll it up high enough. I'm...

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Tired dad looking at a baby monitor screen in a dark Portland nursery

Debugging the erratic hardware of your newborn's respiratory system

My mother-in-law confidently told me that if the nursery is completely quiet, the baby is sleeping perfectly and I should go make a sandwich. My lead developer at work, however, told me that I needed to purchase a hospital-grade under-mattress...

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Dad looking bewildered while trying to diaper a baby boy in a leg cast

A Letter to Past Me About The Baby Boy Cast (And Pee Fountains)

Hey man. It's you from six months in the future. You're currently sitting in room 3 at the pediatric orthopedist in downtown Portland, sweating straight through your flannel shirt, watching a technician wrap your five-month-old's lower half in what looks...

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A tired dad holding a freshly washed baby bottle in a dim kitchen.

Debugging the 2 AM Bottle Wash (And Why We Switched Methods)

It was 2:14 AM. I was standing in the kitchen illuminated only by the harsh blue light of the microwave clock, aggressively scrubbing a plastic milk cylinder with the exact same green and yellow sponge I had just used to...

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Confused dad holding twin toddlers and looking at a smartphone

What I Learned When I Googled the Meaning of Baby Booter

There I was, scraping what I can only assume was fossilised Weetabix off the kitchen skirting board, while my twin daughters, Maya and Zoe, were busy conducting a very loud, off-beat symphony with two wooden spoons and a saucepan. They...

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