Magazine
How To Say Hasta La Vista Baby Without Losing Your Mind
My right shoe was on. My left shoe was somewhere under the hallway console table. My ten-month-old had a death grip on my sweatpants, wailing like I was walking into a fire instead of just getting a routine dental cleaning....
The Happy Baby Carrier Hype Unpacked By A Very Tired Nurse
My mother-in-law warned me that wearing him would ruin his spine. My doula acted like putting him down in a bassinet would permanently damage his attachment style. The mom in my baby yoga class claimed the happy baby brand carrier...
The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine
It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...
Dear Past Priya: The Goldie Baby Method For Maternal Burnout
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the bath mat in our freezing Chicago apartment, staring at the crooked grout lines while your son screams on the other side of the door. The e baby monitor...
Why That Vintage Ty Beanie Baby Is a Terrible Gift for Infants
My mom's care package arrived at 2 PM on a Tuesday, smelling faintly of mothballs and unfiltered 1997 optimism. I sliced open the cardboard, pulled out Claude the Crabβcomplete with the pristine heart-shaped tag encased in a plastic protectorβand handed...
The Michelin Star Delusion: Surviving the Home Baby Bistro Era
I'm currently staring at a bright orange smear on my kitchen ceiling that has been there for three consecutive days. Apparently, an 11-month-old baby can generate enough torque in his right arm to launch a silicone spoonful of artisanal sweet...
What to do when your toddler finds a bird in the garden
It was a Tuesday afternoon, roughly forty-five minutes before I usually cave and put the television on, when Florence trotted up to me holding what appeared to be a very angry, moldy tennis ball. She deposited it directly onto my...
What The Baby Baby Justin Bieber Era Taught Me About 3 AM
If you want to know exactly how to make sure your child never, ever goes back to sleep, let me share my foolproof method from the first month of raising twins. When you hear the inevitable 3 AM wail, you...
Why My Doctor Pushed The Tiny Pill During My First Pregnancy
It was a Tuesday afternoon in 2018, and I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda CR-V in a CVS parking lot, wearing a mustard yellow maternity sweater that made me look like a severely bruised banana, absolutely...