The Truth About Finding A Lone Baby Seal On A Rock At The Beach
Dear Jess from six months ago, who's currently standing on a freezing, aggressively windy Northern California beach holding a half-eaten bag of goldfish crackers while your three kids melt down in stereo. Put the cracker bag down, take a deep...
Put That Tupperware Down: The Reality Of Backyard Reptiles
My four-year-old marched into the kitchen yesterday looking like he had just won the lottery. His hands were cupped so tightly together his knuckles were white, and he had that wild, unblinking stare kids get when they're holding something they...
The 3 AM Meltdown That Made Me Believe in Custom Storybooks
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock were burning a hole into my retinas while I sat there nursing a three-day-old infant and chugging day-old cold brew that tasted profoundly...
What the Wendy Ortiz baby daddy drama gets right about parenting
The screen brightness on my phone is turned all the way down to a dull gray. Outside, the Chicago winter wind is doing that thing where it sounds like a dying animal against the windowpanes. It's two in the morning....
Surviving The Boss Bitch Baby Phase Without Losing Your Dignity
Tuesday, 6:14 AM. The sun hasn't quite breached the London skyline, but my flat is already the site of a hostile corporate takeover. Clementine is standing in her cot, holding a soggy rice cake like a gavel, demanding that I...
The Jason Kelce Baby Playbook: What Fainting Dads And Feral Toddler...
Before my daughter was born, my mother-in-law told me to keep her head covered indoors so the wind wouldn't enter her ears. The lactation consultant at the hospital told me skin-to-skin contact would solve my latch issues, my sleep deprivation,...
The Trouble With Baby SpongeBob (And Other Screen Time Fails)
It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against the kitchen window, and Evie was actively trying to consume a stray piece of dog kibble while her twin sister, Maisy, methodically unrolled an entire two-pound pack of toilet paper....
Where Do Babies Come From: Surviving The Ultimate Toddler Question
We're idling on the Kennedy expressway, somewhere near the loop, when the question hits the back of my head like a stray wooden block. She's pointing out the window at a heavily pregnant woman walking a golden retriever. She looks...
So Your Kid Found Baby Owls in the Yard (Put the Bird Down)
I was elbow-deep in cold soapy dishwater trying to scrape crusty oatmeal out of a bowl when my oldest marched through the back door with her hands cupped together like she was holding a sacred treasure. "Mama, I found Hedwig's...