Magazine

Vintage Ty plush toys sitting on a nursery shelf next to modern organic baby products

Finding An August 3rd Beanie Baby: The Truth About Birthday Twins

It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing Dave’s grey college track pants with a crusty spot of peach yogurt on the left knee, and I was literally locked in a high-stakes bidding war with a stranger...

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Toddler girl standing on a kitchen island while exhausted mom drops coffee mug

When Your Baby Squirrel Is Good At Everything (Except Sleeping)

It was a Tuesday. 2:14 PM. I was standing in my kitchen wearing black leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the previous Thursday and a nursing bra that was basically just a loose suggestion of...

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Exhausted dad staring at an iPad screen while his 11-month-old baby chews on a silicone panda teether on the rug

The Great "Baby Tana Porn" Autocomplete Disaster Of 2024

At exactly 7:14 PM last Tuesday, my wife stopped breathing. It wasn't a medical emergency, but rather a sharp, terrifying inhalation of pure, unfiltered judgment. We were sitting on the couch in our Portland living room, the rain aggressively attacking...

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A baby making a hilarious sour face after tasting a pickle spear for the first time in a highchair.

The Truth About Giving Your Baby Pickles for the Very First Time

It was August 2017, and we were in my brother-in-law’s backyard for a family barbecue. I was standing there, sweating through a stained maternity tank top that I absolutely should have retired three months prior, balancing a seven-month-old Leo on...

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Digital calipers measuring a neon sour gumball next to a silicone teether

My Brother's Cry Baby Bubble Gum Gag Gift Caused a Full System Panic

My brother Dave stood in our kitchen holding a plastic tub shaped like a giant teardrop, grinning like he had just solved a complex algorithm. Dave is 28, works in crypto, and his entire frame of reference for human infants...

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A tired mom holding an acoustic guitar and a baby teether in a messy nursery.

Lil Baby Fridayy - Forever Chords: The 2 AM Search Mix-Up

The biggest lie the parenting internet tells you is that you can safely operate a search engine while running on two hours of sleep and a lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee. Let me paint a picture for you. It was...

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Sleep deprived father holding a teething toy and staring at his phone in shock

The "Babi Chula Porn" Typo: A Warning to Sleep-Deprived Parents

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the nursery rocking chair at 3:14 am, bathed in the harsh blue light of your smartphone while Twin A attempts to extract your left incisor with her surprisingly sharp...

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A stylish diaper bag hanging on a stroller with a monkey keychain attached

The Truth About That Cute Baby Milo Keychain (And My Mom Guilt)

It was a random Tuesday in October, like, 2018 maybe? Maya was about seven months old, and we were sitting outside this aggressively hip coffee shop in Brooklynβ€”the kind where a basic iced oat milk latte costs seven dollars and...

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Exhausted mom in hospital bed staring at newborn baby yawning

So, Can Your Newborn Really Be Born With Teeth? (My Freakout)

The biggest, most universally accepted myth about giving birth is that you're going to be handed this perfect, squishy, entirely gummy little blob of a human. I fully believed this. I thought I had at least six solid months of...

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