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The Truth About Baby Rompers And The Blowout That Broke Me
It was a Tuesday in April, raining that stupid sideways rain we get in the spring, and I was hiding in the single-stall bathroom of a Starbucks with my four-month-old daughter Maya. I was wearing a silk blouse. I donβt...
How I Found the Right Baby Back Ribs Done Temp for My Toddler
Smoke is stinging my left eye, my digital meat thermometer is flashing 145 degrees, and Sarah is holding our 11-month-old who's currently attempting to eat his own foot on the patio. The grill is hissing. My phone is buzzing with...
Why I Googled Beach Baby Onlyfans (And Other Dad Panics)
Before we packed the car for our first family trip to the Oregon coast, I made the fatal error of asking three different people for beach advice. My mother-in-law told me to let the boy run naked in the surf...
Toddlers and Smoked Baby Back Ribs: My Messy Survival Guide
It was the Fourth of July, 2021, and I was wearing a white linen Zara sundress because I'm apparently an idiot who likes to tempt fate. Leo was just barely fourteen months old, sitting in his high chair on the...
A Letter to My Past Self About Buying Rompers for Newborns
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the baby aisle at Target, holding a pair of corduroy overalls size 0-3 months, and you need to put them down immediately. I know you're nesting, and I know the...
My Humbling Defeat to the Baby Bubble Romper: A Tech Dad's Guide
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. That was the exact timestamp on my smart home logs when I realized trying to wrangle rigid denim onto a screaming eleven-month-old is a foolproof way to break your own spirit. My wife was at a conference,...
A Dad's Guide to Smoking Baby Back Ribs for Tiny Humans
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing on the back patio in the Portland drizzle. You have a pair of metal tongs in one hand and your phone in the other, aggressively Googling Traeger recipes. Inside, your...
The Day My Toddler Brought a Wild Baby Hare Into Our Kitchen
I was elbow-deep in cold dishwater trying to scrape dried oatmeal off a plastic bowl when my four-year-old marched through the back screen door with his hands cupped together like he was protecting a fragile treasure. He had that specific,...
Finding a Backyard Rescue: What Do Baby Possums Eat?
My oldest son, Jackson, is a walking cautionary tale for why you should never let a five-year-old play unsupervised near a woodpile. Yesterday, he came marching through the back door holding something gray, hairless, and wriggling in his hands like...