The Truth About Baby Overalls (And Why I Was Totally Wrong)
It was October 2017, and I was standing in the microscopic, dimly lit bathroom of a neighborhood café wearing a silk blouse I had absolutely no business wearing as a new mother, staring down at my six-month-old daughter Maya who...
Midnight fridge audits and the great baby carrots recall panic
It was exactly 11:42 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself knee-deep in the bottom drawer of the fridge, clutching a flashlight between my teeth like a cat burglar who specialises exclusively in stealing root vegetables. The twins were...
Baby By Justin Bieber: From Pop Song To Real Parenting
It was 3 AM, the house was entirely silent except for the hum of our busted AC unit, and I was desperately trying not to drop my firstborn child. Hunter was screaming like I had personally offended him by offering...
The Baby Buddha Breast Pump: A Dad’s Guide to Troubleshooting
It was 3 AM, and I was holding a pair of digital calipers, trying to measure my wife's nipples to the exact millimeter while she glared at me from the edge of the bed. This isn't exactly how I pictured...
Why Looking Up Movies For Your Infant Son Is A Terrible Idea
My phone buzzed at two in the morning during a particularly brutal night feed last week. It was a text from my cousin in Seattle, containing a screenshot of a Hulu search page and a question about whether a specific...
Who is Actually in Charge Here? Surviving the Boss Baby Phase
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing a maternity nursing tank that I definitely hadn't washed since Tuesday, staring at the glow of an iPad playing that DreamWorks movie for the hundredth time. My husband, Dave, had...
Why That Viral Froggy Newborn Portrait is Actually a Photoshop Trick
I was scrolling social media at three in the morning during a seemingly endless feeding session when I saw it. A newborn, maybe six days old, propped perfectly upright with their tiny chin resting on their folded hands. The classic...
The Absolute Madness of Picking the Right Baby Pink Color Code
I'm standing in the paint aisle of B&Q at 8:15 on a Tuesday, trying to wipe half-digested porridge off my trousers, when the teenager behind the mixing counter asks me which specific shade of pale pink I want. I look...
The Only Baby Registry List That Won't Make You Lose Your Mind
I was sitting on the surprisingly sticky linoleum floor in aisle 14 of Target, holding one of those plastic registry scanner guns like it was a literal weapon, and I was openly weeping. It was a Tuesday. I was seven...