Magazine

baby developmentfatherhoodinfant caremillennialorganic clothingpop culture
Tired dad staring at a laptop in a dark nursery with a baby monitor

3 AM Server Logs and Unexpected Pediatric Data from Paris Hilton

Dear Marcus of Six Months Ago, You're currently sitting in the dark in our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the harsh blue glow of the baby monitor and a half-empty mug of coffee you microwaved three times and still forgot...

Read more

12-month-oldbaby namesfatherhoodorganic cottonparenting humortwins
Exhausted dad staring at a spreadsheet of rare names while holding a teething twin

A letter to myself about the absolute farce of finding rare baby gi...

Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the hallway, a chewed-up blue biro in your mouth, staring at a stack of nursery registration forms while Twin B attempts to post half a soggy...

Read more

babywearingfatherhoodgearmillennialsafety tips
Dad wearing a green tactical baby carrier with pouches attached while hiking on a dirt trail.

Why My Husband's Tactical Baby Carrier Actually Drives Me Crazy

"You're going to overheat that poor child in that bulletproof vest," my mom announced from the kitchen island, staring at the massive olive-green rig strapped to my husband's chest. Not five minutes later, his hunting buddy Mike texted him a...

Read more

12-month-oldbaby carefatherhoodsafe sleepsurvival
Exhausted dad in a dark nursery holding a crying baby

The 3 AM Baby Handoff Protocol: Surviving The Night Shift As A Dad

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding my son like he was a live grenade with a faulty pin. He had been screaming for forty-five straight minutes. I had run through the standard troubleshooting checklist: diaper...

Read more

6-month-oldBabyearly developmentfatherhoodthird trimester
A dad looking at his phone anxiously next to a pregnant belly

Acoustics of the Womb and My Metal Baking Sheet Drop Disaster

The noise sounded like a Ford Taurus crashing into a cymbal factory. It was just me dropping six aluminum baking sheets onto the kitchen tile, but in our quiet Portland apartment, the acoustic shockwave was violently loud. Our dog scrambled...

Read more

fatherhoodfourth trimestermental healthmillennialparenting humorpop culture
A deeply tired father holding two identical baby outfits while staring at his phone.

Did Jessica Sanchez Finally Have Her Baby? A Postpartum Warning

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of our terribly drafted London flat, attempting to assemble a twin nursing pillow that looks like a life raft, while your wife glowers at you from her birthing...

Read more

baby gearfatherhoodmillennialproduct guidestroller
Frustrated dad looking at baby stroller parts on living room floor

Stroller Shopping Destroyed My Sanity And Ruined My Spreadsheets

My mother-in-law insisted we needed a pram with shock absorbers lifted from a literal monster truck. My coworker Dave, who has three kids and hasn't slept a full night since 2018, swore we just needed a twenty-dollar nylon umbrella rig...

Read more

fatherhoodgearhealthnewbornparenting humorphotography
Exhausted dad holding a wearable breast pump while looking at a newborn baby photographer in a hospital room

When Pumping Hardware And Hospital Photoshoots Suddenly Collide

The machine strapped to my wife’s chest sounded exactly like a PlayStation 4 struggling to render a massive game file. It was a rhythmic, mechanical grinding noise that echoed off the sterile walls of our postpartum recovery room. We were...

Read more

6-month-old9-month-oldbaby stepsearly developmentfatherhoodparenthood
A dad holding an 11-month-old baby who is pulling up to stand next to a coffee table

Dear Past Marcus: Stop Googling the baby steps anime at 3 AM

Dear Past Marcus, It's currently 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're staring at your phone in the dark while the baby (who's now 11 months old, by the wayβ€”spoiler alert, we survive the sleep regression) does that weird dolphin-clicking...

Read more