Freaking Out About The Sugar Baby Movies In My Moms Group
So my sister-in-law is standing by the toddler swings yesterday, violently shaking her Yeti mug in the air, telling me I need to throw Mayaβs iPad straight into the nearest river because she just watched that Sundance documentary. You know...
The Great Upright Wobble: A Guide to Your Baby Sitting Solo
I remember the exact Tuesday I tried to engineer my twin girls into a seated position using an architectural configuration of nursing pillows that would have made a civil engineer weep. I was absolutely convinced that if I just propped...
The Honest Truth About When Your Baby Will Finally Say Mama
My mother-in-law cornered me by the spinach dip station at my cousin's baby shower when my son Leo was seven months old and confidently declared that because he was currently blowing spit bubbles, he was practically reading. "He's making the...
When Do Babies Start Seeing Color? A Letter to Past Me
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the rocking chair at 2 AM, running on three hours of sleep and a cold cup of coffee, frantically waving a muted sage-green wooden toy in front of your new...
Where Do Babies Come From: Surviving The Ultimate Toddler Question
We're idling on the Kennedy expressway, somewhere near the loop, when the question hits the back of my head like a stray wooden block. She's pointing out the window at a heavily pregnant woman walking a golden retriever. She looks...
Parenting 101: Why Did Galactus Want the Baby? (A Dad's Take)
It was 3:14 in the morning on a aggressively damp Tuesday when I found myself standing in the kitchen, gently swaying Twin A while attempting to read Marvel lore on my phone at twelve percent brightness. She was doing an...
Dear past me: Surviving the great scrap baby incident of October
Dear Sarah from six months ago, Itβs Tuesday, right? Youβre sitting on the hot driveway asphalt wearing that oversized gray NYU hoodie with the mysterious yellow stain on the left cuff that might be mustard but is honestly probably breastmilk...
Why Nursery Rhymes For Babies Actually Work Better Than White Noise
It was 3:17 AM in the dead heat of a Texas July, the cicadas were screaming outside my window, and my oldest son Liam was screaming even louder right directly into my collarbone. I had sour milk on my shirt,...
The Honest Truth About Baby Games When You're Just Exhausted
Iβm currently flat on my back on the living room rug, making bizarre clicking noises with my tongue while my four-month-old aggressively mouths a silicone spatula. Somewhere in the background, my oldest is trying to teach the dog how to...