Magazine
Why our gender-neutral baby shower actually saved my sanity
I was standing in a strangerβs kitchen in Hackney, trying to discreetly spit out a bright blue cupcake that tasted distinctly of Smurf and regret, when I realised everything I believed about the modern baby shower was entirely wrong. Before...
Dear past Jess: Put the eucalyptus baby blue plant down now
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the floral section at H-E-B, balancing a squirming six-month-old on your hip while your toddler tries to systematically crush every bag of tortilla chips in the next aisle. You look...
The Truth On Easy Crochet Baby Blanket Patterns Free
I'm sitting cross-legged on the living room rug at twenty past midnight, entirely bound in a web of aggressively yellow yarn, trying to pause a YouTube video with my nose because both my hands are currently serving as a makeshift...
Letter to past me: finding an easter outfit baby boy will tolerate
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently standing in the toddler section of Macy's on State Street, staring at a three-piece tweed suit made for a human who can't yet walk. You're sweating through your scrubs after a twelve-hour...
The Messy Truth About Trying to Dream Feed Baby Every Night
My foot found the only rogue plastic dinosaur left on the rug at 10:43 PM. I bit my lip so hard I tasted copper, balancing a warm bottle of pumped milk in my left hand while trying not to breathe...
I Googled "Do Baby Teeth Have Roots" at 3 AM and Now I'm Terrified
It's exactly 3:14 AM, and my index finger is currently wedged inside my eleven-month-old's mouth. I'm conducting a blind tactical sweep of his lower gums because he has been waking up screaming every two hours, and I'm desperately trying to...
Do Babies Sleep More When Teething? The Exhausting Truth
I was staring at the glowing green screen of the baby monitor at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, completely paralyzed by a mixture of deep relief and mounting panic. Florence and Matilda had been asleep for two and a half...
The Real Truth About Distilled and Purified Water for Baby Formula
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in my kitchen in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and postpartum mesh underwear, staring dead-eyed at a pot of boiling tap water. My oldestβwho's now five and serves almost entirely as a...
Dressing Your Infant in a Devil's Rejects Baby Firefly Costume
The single biggest myth in modern parenting is the delusion that your infant is a blank, cooperative canvas for your own deeply specific pop-culture obsessions. I discovered this entirely too late while trying to explain to a very judgmental woman...