Magazine
Dear Past Tom: The Actual Trust Fund Baby Meaning (63 chars)
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in a solicitorβs waiting room in zone 3, trying to peel a smashed Rice Krispie square off a faux-leather chair before Mr. Henderson comes out to discuss your estate. Twin...
Why nobody warns you about ugly babies and how to survive them
I spent four hours in the maternity ward trying to find an Instagram filter that would make my son look less like a bruised, angry potato. I know we aren't supposed to say that out loud. You're supposed to weep...
Vanessa Hudgens Baby Reality Check: Why Balance Is A Total Myth
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a scatter plot I had painstakingly built in Python to map our 11-month-oldβs sleep regressions against the ambient humidity of his nursery. (For the record, 48% humidity and...
What The Nepo Baby Trend Actually Means For Your Everyday Toddler
I was peeling the skin off a single green grape for my toddler when my sister-in-law texted me a screenshot of a celebrity magazine cover. My phone lit up on the kitchen counter while I carefully sliced the fruit into...
The Ultimate Dadβs Guide to What Baby Oil Is Actually Used For
I was sitting on the floor of our living room, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to peel a heavy-duty waterproof band-aid off my eleven-month-old's thigh without triggering a level-five meltdown. He had scraped his leg on a rogue piece of...
What Is Love Baby Dont Hurt Me: Toddlers & 90s Dance Anthems
It's 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm currently bleeding quite profusely from the bridge of my nose while mentally reviewing the Billboard Hot 100 charts from 1993. My left eye is watering. My dignity left the building sometime during...
Raising Kids With True Grit: A Normal Momβs Take on Nepotism Babies
Three years ago, I marched right into the office of our local Methodist preschool, smiled at the director, and shamelessly dropped my grandmotherβs name to bump my oldest kid to the top of their two-year-long waitlist. I didn't even blink....
The Truth About Boomer Grandparents And Modern Baby Care
Listen, put a little whiskey on his gums, beta. That was my great-aunt at a family wedding last month. He needs to sleep on his stomach or he'll choke on his spit-up. That was my mother-in-law, hovering over the bassinet...
When Can Babies Sleep With A Blanket: A Mom's Honest Guide
I was standing in Maya's nursery at like 2 AM. She was maybe four months old, it was the dead of February, and our old house is drafty as hell. I was holding a lukewarm cup of coffeeβmy fourth of...