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Sarah holding a lukewarm coffee mug looking stressed at her laptop while researching safe organic cotton baby clothes and hat

My Strange Internet Rabbit Hole: The Beanie Baby Payhip Search

I was standing in the kitchen at 11:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three separate times since...

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A tired mom sitting in a Chicago living room looking at commercial warehouse zoning laws on a laptop.

Dear past Priya: The Mattel distribution delusion was a mistake

I'm staring at a municipal zoning map of Cook County at three in the morning with half a cold samosa in my hand, trying to figure out if our detached garage qualifies as a commercial loading dock. This is where...

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A toddler holding a soft stuffed dog while sitting on a playmat

The Truth About Character Stuffed Animals And Nursery Aesthetics

My heel just found the exact center of a plastic cartoon pup's hard little nose at six in the morning, and as I hopped around the dark living room stifling a scream so I wouldn't wake the baby, I realized...

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Wooden building blocks scattered across a Kianao organic cotton playmat.

Spielsachen 4 Jahre: The Truth About Toys For Four-Year-Olds

The most successful grift in the modern parenting industrial complex is the word "educational" slapped on a box containing a plastic, seizure-inducing nightmare. You know the exact toy I'm talking about. It’s usually shaped like a dog or a heavily...

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Toddler opening geschenke fΓΌr 1 jΓ€hrige wooden toys

Geschenke fΓΌr 1-JΓ€hrige: Honest First Birthday Gifts You Need

My mom called me the week before my oldest turned one and proudly announced she was buying him one of those plastic sit-in walkers so he could chase the dog around the kitchen. Two hours later, my crunchy sister-in-law texted...

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A wooden train track scattered across a living room rug next to a cup of lukewarm coffee

Spielzeug fΓΌr Jungs ab 4 Jahre: Surviving The Plastic Chaos

The sole of my left foot was bleeding, my two-year-old twin girls were screaming in stereo because someone had stolen a deflated balloon they didn't even want, and a plastic fire engine was blaring a siren that sounded suspiciously like...

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Wooden blocks scattered on a rug next to a sleeping three-year-old boy.

Finding spielzeug fΓΌr jungs ab 3 jahre without losing your mind

I was holding a bucket of toddler vomit in my left hand and a feverish thirty-pound boy in my right when my bare heel found the stegosaurus. It pierced the fascia of my plantar surface in the dark at three...

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A scattered set of wooden toy blocks resting on an organic cotton playmat.

Spielzeug fΓΌr 2 jΓ€hrige MΓ€dchen: A Letter to My Past Self

Dear Jess of exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the laundry room, sitting on a pile of unfolded towels because it's the only room with a lock that actually works. Your two-year-old daughter is out there somewhere in...

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A wooden push cart and scattered blocks on a living room rug

My honest guide to surviving the Spielzeug bis 2 Jahre phase

It was 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a neon green plastic dog that was singing a heavily autotuned song about shapes at an ear-splitting volume. I was wearing my gray sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the bleach stain...

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