The terrifying truth about the viral baby fuggler TikTok trend
It was exactly 6:13 in the morning and I was wearing yesterday's yoga pants with an unidentified yogurt stain on the knee when my seven-year-old, Maya, shoved her sticky iPad approximately half an inch from my face. I hadn't even...
The ugly truth about buying your toddler a baby doll stroller
There was a tiny pool of blood on my hardwood floor. Not a catastrophic amount, just enough to make my old hospital triage instincts override my standard maternal panic. Maya was on her back, screaming, holding a split lip. Tangled...
When The Grandparents Bring Over Their 1980s Death Trap Baby Gear
I was wearing my husbandβs stained grey sweatpants, the ones with the mysterious hole near the left knee, standing in my driveway at 10 AM on a Tuesday while clutching a mug of coffee I had already microwaved three times....
Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. Itβs, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...
What The Drill Baby Drill Slogan Actually Means For Parents
Dear Sarah from last October, I know exactly where you're right now. Itβs 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the kitchen wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious hole in the left thigh, holding your secondβno, let's...
The Baby Giraffe Metaphor That Completely Changed My Motherhood
I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing these black maternity leggings that had a crusty, highly suspicious patch of dried Greek yogurt on the left thigh, standing in the middle of a big-box baby store just absolutely weeping...
Why Searching For A Baby Boy Movie Is A Terrible Weekend Idea
It was 6:14 AM on a Sunday, the coffee hasn't kicked in, and my 11-month-old son was aggressively trying to dismantle the living room router. I just wanted twenty minutes of peace. I grabbed the Apple TV remote, typed "baby...
Letter to Past Me: How to Survive the Real-Life Baby Boss Phase
Itβs 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor wearing the grey sweatpants with the mystery yogurt stain on the left thigh, clutching a mug of tepid French roast like itβs a...
My In-Laws, A Drop-Side Crib, And The Great Grandparent Divide
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and my mother-in-law had just proudly wheeled a vintage, splintering drop-side crib into my living room. I'm pretty sure...