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Toddler wearing a green blanket like a dinosaur cape roaring on a rug

Why My Kid's Baby Dino Obsession Is Ruining My Life (But Not Really)

It was a Tuesday at like, 7:14 AM. I was standing in the kitchen wearing my black leggings that have a mystery yogurt stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had already gone lukewarm because I'd...

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A tired dad looking at his phone in a dark nursery

The 3 AM System Crash: A Letter to Past Me About That Sound

It's 3:14 AM, and you're currently standing over the crib with your phone flashlight pressed against your chest so the glare doesn't wake him fully, intensely analyzing the rhythmic, aggressive hacking sound coming from your five-month-old son. You're sweating. You...

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Stressed mom holding a crying infant dressed in an itchy polyester pumpkin outfit

Choosing the Perfect Baby Costume Without Losing Your Mind

It was late October, and I was standing in the middle of a crowded Target aisle, sweating profusely into a stretched-out grey maternity tank top I still couldn't stop wearing. I had a screaming four-month-old Leo in one arm and...

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Exhausted dad holding twin girls while staring suspiciously at a small kitten sitting inside a wooden baby bassinet.

Letter to My Past Self: Surviving Twin Girls and a Baby Cat

Dear Tom. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 4:13 AM holding a half-empty bottle of Calpol, shivering in your dressing gown, and staring at a tiny, bewildered creature that your wife just brought home in a cardboard box. You...

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Dad looking confused at a complicated modern travel system in the rain

The Mobile Sleep Unit: What I Got Wrong About Baby Transport

The rain is coming down sideways in the Trader Joe's parking lot, and I'm standing next to the open trunk of my Subaru, violently jiggling the folding mechanism of a twelve-hundred-dollar rolling chassis while my eleven-month-old screams from the backseat...

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Twin babies covered in healthy smash cake frosting on their first birthday

The Great First Birthday Smash Cake Disaster (And What I Learned)

There's a specific, deeply unsettling textural horror to finding mashed avocado and coconut cream crusted into your left eyebrow three hours after the guests have gone home. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, picking dried oat flour...

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Dad trying to put a shirt on a squirming 11-month-old boy

Debugging the baby boy wardrobe: A first-time dad’s logs

My thumb was actively bleeding. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, rain was aggressively battering our Portland bedroom window, and I was locked in a physical struggle with a tiny, angry, poop-covered human. The adversary was a rigid denim...

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Twin toddler girls playing a video game while wearing organic cotton clothing

Searching for baby bowser: Screen time, hair bows, and pure panic

It was 6:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time when civilized society is safely asleep, but my living room looked like the aftermath of a minor coup. Twin A (Mia) was clutching the Nintendo Switch controller to her chest like...

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A fussy baby girl sitting on a blanket trying to pull a large pink bow off her head

The Truth About Baby Bows (And The Red Marks They Leave)

I was standing in the middle of a dusty Texas bluebonnet patch off Highway 290, sweating completely through my shirt while my four-month-old screamed like a tiny, furious baby Bowser. She was thrashing around, clawing at her own head, trying...

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