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Why That Cute Miniature Sheep Trend Almost Broke My Sanity
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in ankle-deep Vermont mud holding a half-empty Yeti of room-temperature coffee, watching my 18-month-old daughter Maya actively attempt to French kiss a miniature farm animal. My friend Jen had...
The 3AM Google Search Disaster: A Baby Alien Sex Tape Incident
It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm holding what can only be described as a glowing green piece of plastic covered in a thick, gelatinous layer of twin toddler saliva. My left eye is twitching in a rhythm that vaguely...
The Best Evo Baby Dragon Decks for Sleep-Deprived Parents
There's this massive, completely unhinged myth in the parenting space that the absolute second you bring a newborn home from the hospital, your smartphone suddenly becomes this pristine, educational tool used exclusively for tracking ounces of breastmilk and playing white...
My Strange Internet Rabbit Hole: The Beanie Baby Payhip Search
I was standing in the kitchen at 11:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three separate times since...
Why bringing a baby tortoise into a toddler home is a terrible idea
It's 2:14 AM and I'm standing in my living room using a digital meat thermometer to measure the ambient soil temperature of a wooden box. Inside this box is a creature roughly the size of a rich tea biscuit that...
A Letter to Myself About the Absurdity of Smocked Baby Clothes
Dear Tom of six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing in the upstairs bathroom at your mother-in-law's house, holding Maya at arm's length over the porcelain sink. You're staring at a Β£75 hand-smocked, pale blue...
Megan Walerius, Birth Plans, and the Chaos of Expectations
When we announced the twins were on the way, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a forty-five-minute window at my local pub. My mother, clutching a small glass of sherry, told us to simply let nature take its...
Raising A Linxia Baby: The Unfiltered Truth About Newborn Life
I was standing in the Target baby aisle at 9 PM on a Tuesday, completely dead inside, while my oldest son Jackson screamed against my chest in a carrier that I was probably wearing wrong. He was three weeks old....
The disaster of picking a baby boy easter outfit
It was ten in the morning on a Sunday and I was staring at a mustard-yellow blowout that had completely breached the hull of a forty-dollar miniature linen suit. My mother-in-law was knocking on the powder room door, asking if...