Surviving the British Guard Beannie Baby Phase
Sweat was actively pooling in the crevice of Florenceβs third chin. It was Boxing Day, the central heating was aggressively set to what I can only describe as 'Florida retirement home,' and my mother-in-law had just wedged both twins into...
The absolute best yarn for baby blanket knitting and buying
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting heavily on my living room rug in the dead of a Chicago winter, surrounded by four giant garbage bags of yarn. My mother-in-law had just dropped them off. She had this grand vision of...
Why That Cute Miniature Sheep Trend Almost Broke My Sanity
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in ankle-deep Vermont mud holding a half-empty Yeti of room-temperature coffee, watching my 18-month-old daughter Maya actively attempt to French kiss a miniature farm animal. My friend Jen had...
A Letter to Myself About the Absurdity of Smocked Baby Clothes
Dear Tom of six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing in the upstairs bathroom at your mother-in-law's house, holding Maya at arm's length over the porcelain sink. You're staring at a Β£75 hand-smocked, pale blue...
The real deal about that green baby tee and toxic wellness fads
I was three hours into a night shift in the pediatric ER when a very tired, very trendy mom rushed in with an eight-month-old who was vibrating like a cheap pager. His resting heart rate was through the roof. After...
Sweating bullets over baby wool in a Portland heatwave
It was mid-July, the Nanit camera was flashing a menacing red 81 degrees, and our 1924 Portland craftsman was doing its best impression of a pizza oven. I was frantically trying to program a portable AC unit with one hand...
The medical reality of organic cotton baby socks for infants
The day we brought my son home from the hospital, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory mandates about his feet. My mother, wielding her generational aunty logic, informed me that exposing his bare toes to the Chicago autumn would invite...
The Truth About Bamboo Kids Plates (And What Actually Works)
I was standing barefoot in my kitchen at 7:00 AM, staring at a splatter of oatmeal slowly dripping down my newly painted cabinets, while my oldest son looked incredibly proud of his throwing arm. Jackson was two at the time,...
Dear Past Me: The Bamboo Toddler Blanket Is Actually Worth It
Dear Jess of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery at 2:14 AM, using your teeth to try and unjam a zipper on a fleece sleep sack that somehow got stuck on a blowout-ruined diaper...