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A tiny green baby praying mantis crawling on my finger while my 11-month-old tries to grab it in our kitchen.

Surviving a Baby Praying Mantis Hatch With an 11-Month-Old Kid

It was 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a plastic mesh butterfly pavilion on my kitchen counter like I was waiting for a server to reboot. I held a plastic spray bottle in one hand, completely...

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A frustrated mom looking at her toddler who just shoved a green pea up their nose during dinner.

Baby You Got Something In Your Nose: A Toddler Survival Guide

I was standing at the kitchen sink yesterday, frantically trying to scrub crusted oatmeal off a plastic dinosaur plate while three loads of laundry soured in the washing machine. I had the radio playing, and I was actually singing the...

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A confused dad holding a highly realistic baby doll while an 11-month-old baby looks at it on the floor

Unboxing baby dolls that look real: A first-time dad's survival guide

The box cutter sliced through the packing tape at exactly 7:42 PM on a Tuesday. I peeled back the layers of tissue paper, fully expecting a wooden puzzle or maybe some harmless stacking blocks from my wife's aunt. Instead, I...

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Wooden baby play gym with colorful hanging animal toys

What a Teen Pop Anthem Taught Me About Raising Kids

"Alexa, volume ten!" Those were the words that completely shattered my peaceful Tuesday morning while I was wrist-deep in sorting out a laundry basket full of crusty toddler socks. My oldest boy, Hunter, who's currently serving as my daily cautionary...

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Wooden building blocks scattered on a rug next to a play gym.

Why Most "Educational" Toys Are Just Overpriced Plastic

I'm currently staring down a plastic monstrosity that speaks three languages, flashes like a discount Vegas casino, and cost my mother-in-law forty-five dollars. It has a giant sticker on the box screaming that it'll teach my baby geometry, and let...

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Toddler playing independently with natural wooden toys on a living room rug

Raising Kids With True Grit: A Normal Mom’s Take on Nepotism Babies

Three years ago, I marched right into the office of our local Methodist preschool, smiled at the director, and shamelessly dropped my grandmother’s name to bump my oldest kid to the top of their two-year-long waitlist. I didn't even blink....

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A baby playing with a wooden play gym on a living room rug while a tired dad holds a cup of coffee.

Lil Baby Harvard: Raising a tiny genius without losing your mind

Within forty-eight hours of bringing the twins home, I received three distinct pieces of unsolicited advice regarding their future intellectual dominance. My mother-in-law arrived with a set of high-contrast Mandarin flashcards (I speak passable French; my wife speaks sarcasm). Our...

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Confused mom holding a coffee cup looking at a bunch of bright green dinosaur toys and colorful baby building blocks.

The Truth About the Digital Dinosaur Taking Over My Living Room

It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the kitchen wearing Dave's old college sweatpantsβ€”the grey ones with a literal hole in the left kneeβ€”and holding my third cup of coffee, which is already lukewarm. Leo, my four-year-old, is...

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Toddler having a meltdown on the living room rug after a tablet is taken away

The Cocomelon baby shark meltdown and how we survived

It was a Tuesday at 5:15 PM, which in a Chicago November means it had been pitch black outside for an hour. I was standing in my kitchen, staring at an unpeeled onion, trying to figure out how to cook...

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