Magazine

Portland dad playing acoustic guitar while 11-month-old baby chews on a wooden toy

Debugging My 11-Month-Old Baby's First Guitar Playing Setup

Yesterday at exactly 4:13 PM, my daughter attempted to eat the low E string off my Martin acoustic dreadnought. I was sitting on the rug in our living roomβ€”which I keep at a very precise, data-backed 68.5 degrees for best...

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A slightly chewed cardboard book sitting on a messy nursery floor next to a sleeping infant.

Dear Past Jess: The Messy Truth About Board Books for Babies

Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum of the kitchen floor, surrounded by three baskets of unfolded laundry, staring at your youngest child. You just had to stick your index finger into his mouth...

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Tired mom sitting on floor playing with baby and soft building blocks

The Messy Truth About First Words (And Why I Stopped Panicking)

I was wearing those awful grey maternity leggings that I refused to throw away, smelling faintly of sour milk, sitting on a beige rug that's now permanently stained with something I refuse to identify. Leo was fourteen months old, pointing...

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Toddler playing with physical wooden toys instead of a digital screen on a rug

A Letter to Myself About That Ridiculous Digital Baby Tiger

Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're currently standing at the kitchen island, elbow-deep in raw chicken while the baby aggressively throws cheerios at the dog, but I need you to drop the tongs and walk into the...

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Mom folding laundry while toddlers play on a wooden mat (max 125 chars)

Why I Finally Banned Baby Super Bratz Movies in My House

I was up to my elbows in Etsy shipping labels, frantically trying to beat the rural Texas post office cutoff time, when I heard the unmistakable sound of my good MAC lipstick being dragged across the hardwood floor. You know,...

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A printed baby saja coloring page with non-toxic markers scattered on a wooden table

My Honest Take on the Weird Baby Saja Coloring Page Obsession

It was exactly 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a half-empty mug of yesterday's cold brew, staring blankly at my kitchen wall. My bare left heel had just found a rogue black colored pencil in the hallwayβ€”you...

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Confused mom searching john baby doll dixon while holding a safe baby doll

Why john baby doll dixon won't help you buy a safe baby doll

My mother-in-law told me yesterday that Maya needed a doll immediately to develop her maternal instincts before she turns two. My pediatrician muttered something vaguely terrifying about the airway obstruction risks of cheap toy accessories. The woman next to me...

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Coffee cup next to a Nintendo 3DS and a wooden baby teether on a messy kitchen table

The Tomodachi Life Save Editor Panic: Hacking for Virtual Babies

It was exactly 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a target-brand fleece robe that has an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left pocket (yogurt? toothpaste? honestly I don't want to know), pouring my...

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A confused dad looking at a squirrel in a London park while holding twin toddlers

How Many Babies Do Squirrels Have? A Garden Mystery

The incident began on a particularly damp Tuesday in our local park, right around the time I was wondering if it was socially acceptable to drink a lukewarm thermos of coffee at 9 a.m. Maya and Chloe had their faces...

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