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Dear Past Me: The Honest Truth About Surviving With Baby Teethers
Dear Jess from October. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3 AM in an oversized, spit-up covered baby tee, staring into the harsh fluorescent light of the open refrigerator. The baby is screaming loud enough to wake the dead,...
Babys zahnen: Oh Gott, mein ehrlicher Zahnungs-Survival-Guide
Es war exakt 3:14 Uhr morgens an einem Dienstag, ich trug ein verwaschenes College-Shirt, auf dem ein nicht identifizierbarer Fleck von Mayas gestrigem Haferbrei klebte, und Leo brΓΌllte, als hΓ€tte ich ihm gerade erΓΆffnet, dass es nie wieder Milch gibt....
Decoding European Baby Sizes: Why Centimeters Finally Make Sense
Standing in our dim nursery at two in the morning, I was holding two different bodysuits up to the moonlight. One was a legacy American brand labeled "0-3 Months." The other was a European piece labeled "Size 56." The baby,...
A Letter to My Past Self About Finding the Best Baby Shampoo
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently kneeling on a folded towel in our drafty Portland bathroom, gripping a screaming, soapy five-month-old who currently possesses the exact friction coefficient of a greased watermelon. You have sud-splatter on your glasses,...
Finding the Best Infant Face Cream (A Letter to Past Me)
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your Subaru. It's raining. You have a lukewarm vanilla latte in the cup holder that you forgot to drink because you were too busy...
The Great Puree Illusion: My Humbling Education in Infant Spoons
The ceiling of my kitchen in Zone 3 currently sports a rather avant-garde splatter of pureed butternut squash, perfectly preserved from last Tuesday when I attempted to feed the twins simultaneously. Maya, deciding she was finished with her lunch, performed...
Brutally honest gifts for babies that parents actually want
I was sitting at a baby shower in Naperville last weekend when they brought out the main event. A massive, cellophane-wrapped basket towering with newborn-sized denim jackets, stiff canvas shoes that looked like tiny torture devices, and a neon plastic...
How To Hunt Down Every Good Angebot Pampers Without Going Crazy
I'm currently staring at a giant cardboard box of size 2 diapers sitting in my garage that I bought in a sleep-deprived haze because the neon yellow sign at H-E-B told me it was a mega savings event. Spoiler alert:...
The brutal truth about teething and surviving the midnight drool
My mother-in-law told me to rub raw honey on his swollen gums, completely ignoring the botulism risk. A mom at music class swore her infant popped four incisors overnight with zero tears because she rubbed expensive vanilla extract on his...