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Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with my oldestβthe child who's now officially my daily cautionary taleβI got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...
The Baby Beluga Musician Was Right About Everything All Along
The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that rhythmic clicking sound it only makes at three in the morning. My toddler was executing a flawless, rigid back-arch scream, the kind that usually shows either a dropped pacifier or a...
Why Baby Aspirin Was The Biggest Shock Of Our Twin Pregnancy
We were sitting in windowless room 4 at our local NHS Trust, breathing in the very specific scent of industrial floor cleaner and ultrasound gel, when our consultant casually slid a prescription across the desk. My wife was exactly twelve...
How to Actually Make Your Amazon Baby Registry Searchable
I was sitting on my living room floor, nine months pregnant with my oldest, sobbing into a pile of unfolded onesies because my mother-in-law called to say my registry didn't exist. There's this massive lie we all buy into when...
Why Rosemary's Baby Is A Terrible Idea For Your Real Toddler
My mother-in-law told me to rub concentrated rosemary oil on my toddler's chest to cure his midnight cough. The next morning, my granola-mom neighbor swore a homemade rosemary extract paste was the only reliable way to dissolve cradle cap. Then...
The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)
I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...
The Great Baby Crib Survival Guide (And Mistakes I Actually Made)
I was sitting on the nursery floor at precisely 2:14 in the morning, a hex key clamped between my teeth, watching Twin A actively try to consume a wooden dowel while I wept quietly over a set of Swedish assembly...
Surviving the Baby Boomer Years of Grandparenting
Don't, under any circumstances, politely accept the garbage bag full of your own crusty childhood stuffed animals just because your mom has misty eyes. I did this when my oldest was born, and let me tell you, it was a...
The Truth About Reborn Baby Dolls (And Why I Bought One)
I was standing in my kitchen at 7 AM, wearing yoga pants with a mysterious white stain on the knee, aggressively stirring my third coffee of the morning, when I casually mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was thinking about...