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Dad holding phone to take baby pictures of an eleven month old

Why My Phone is Full of Blurry Baby Pictures (And What to Do)

My iCloud storage officially threw a fatal error at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was standing in the pitch black of the nursery, balancing my eleven-month-old son’s disproportionately heavy head against my collarbone, while frantically trying to delete cached...

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Father attempting to take a baby picture of twins on a neutral blanket while they squirm.

Capturing the Perfect Baby Picture Without Losing Your Mind

There's a highly specific, sweat-drenched panic that occurs on day nine of a newborn’s life. You're holding your iPhone 12 at a precarious angle over a pile of blankets, your central heating is cranked to thirty degrees, and you're desperately...

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A chubby baby sleeping in a baby pen next to a plush penguin

What A Giant Baby Penguin Taught Me About Raising Kids

It was 3:14 AM. I know this because my eyes were burning from the glare of my phone screen, and I was pinned to the rocking chair by my six-month-old, who currently possesses the density and general shape of a...

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A tired mom holding three different types of baby pacifiers in her hand.

The Brutal Truth About Pacifiers When Everyone Has an Opinion

I was sitting in the hospital bed on day two with my oldest, icing parts of my body I didn't know could swell, when the advice assault began. The hospital lactation consultant pointed a stern finger at my overnight bag...

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Exhausted dad looking at a kitchen wall covered in dried infant oats.

Why The Great Baby Oatmeal Cereal Incident Finally Broke My Spirit

It's 11:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a perfectly spherical glob of beige paste slowly sliding down my otherwise immaculate kitchen window. It hangs there for a moment, defying gravity, before dropping directly onto the cat's head....

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Baby playing on a wooden playmat while a television plays a nature documentary in the background

Streaming Shows For Babies And The Real Science Of Screen Time

My mother-in-law insisted that any moving image on a television would permanently short-circuit my infant's brain. My neighbor down the hall swore that putting on animated dancing fruit was the only way she managed to wash her hair without someone...

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A dad looking at a laptop screen next to a sleeping baby

Why I Let a Baby Name Generator Pick My Kid's Name

I was staring at a shared Google Sheet at two in the morning when I realized our entire naming protocol was fundamentally broken. My mother had just called to advise us to pick something "biblical but not weird," whatever that...

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A confused mom looking at tiny baby mittens while holding a cold coffee

Dear Past Me: The Ugly, Honest Truth About Useless Baby Mittens

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're standing in your sister's nursery, surrounded by a mountain of crumpled tissue paper and tiny, impossibly small socks. You're holding a little mesh bag of baby mβ€”wait, what are these even called?...

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Exhausted dad looking at baby memes on his phone in the dark

A Letter To Past Me About Baby Memes And Surviving Twin Girls

You're currently sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs loo at exactly 3:14 AM. The tiles are freezing against your bare feet, and you're hiding. I know this because I'm you, writing from six months in the future. Upstairs,...

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