Magazine

Marcus holding a sleepy baby in an owl sleep sack next to a stack of toddler books.

The Baby Owl Bug: Sleep Hacks, Separation Panic and Bird Law

My mom told me on Tuesday to just let him cry it out because he's testing my authority, which is hilarious because he's eleven months old and mostly communicates by blowing raspberries at the dog. On Wednesday, our ultra-crunchy Portland...

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A tiny baby hummingbird resting safely on a green leaf outdoors

Dear Jess: What I Wish I Knew Before the Baby Hummingbird Incident

Dear Jess of last May, put down the plastic eye dropper and step away from the kitchen counter before you inadvertently commit a federal wildlife crime. Right now, the baby is strapped to your sweaty chest in the carrier, the...

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A confused dad holding twin girls looking at a small wild canine in a garden

Surviving a baby coyote encounter with jetlagged twin toddlers

It was 4:17 in the morning in suburban California, and I was losing my mind. We had foolishly decided to drag our two-year-old twin girls on a twelve-hour flight from Heathrow to Los Angeles to visit my wife's brother, operating...

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A cautious dad inspecting a grassy backyard for baby snakes while his twin toddlers play safely on an elevated wooden deck

Surviving the American baby copperhead panic as a clueless dad

The humidity in North Carolina in late August is a physical assault, the kind of oppressive heat that makes your clothes feel like a wet apology. I was standing on my American in-laws' patio, clutching a rapidly melting gin and...

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Confused dad looking at a fledgling bird in the grass while holding a baby

What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Bird in the Backyard

I'm currently crouched in the damp Portland mud, holding my 11-month-old by the back of his diaper like a defective briefcase, while we both stare at a violently vibrating clump of feathers in the grass. It looks like a moldy...

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Toddler doing the hands and feet crawl on a wooden floor next to toys

Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. It’s, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...

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A bewildered dad holding a baby while looking at a fluffy duckling

Backyard Baby Ducks: A Dad's Guide to Feathers, Fluff, and Chaos

If you've ever seen a cartoon or read a children's book, you probably think a baby duck’s default state is bobbing happily in a crystal-clear pond while eating breadcrumbs, which is exactly why I nearly short-circuited when my wife pointed...

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Stressed mom holding a lukewarm coffee cup while pushing a stroller through a park

How To Survive An Actual Baby's Day Out Without The Slapstick

It was precisely 10:14 AM on a Tuesday in late October, and I was standing in the parking lot of a suburban Target wearing gray yoga pants that had a highly suspicious yellow stain near the left knee, crying into...

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A tiny newborn squirrel resting safely on a smooth cotton cloth inside a dark cardboard box

My chaotic guide to finding an orphaned baby squirrel in your yard

The wind in Chicago in April is basically a personal insult. I was already standing in the kitchen watching my toddler have a full-scale meltdown because his morning banana had the audacity to break in half. I was mentally calculating...

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