The ugly truth about transitioning to a toddler wearable blanket
The biggest lie they tell you at the twelve-month pediatrician visit is that your kid is finally old enough for a real blanket. People hear that milestone and immediately run out to buy tiny, expensive quilts. They carefully tuck their...
The Ugly Truth About Baby Wash and That Famous Newborn Smell
I was standing in the middle of Target, heavily pregnant with my second, actively sniffing a plastic bottle of yellow shampoo while my oldest kid scratched his eczema patches until they bled. I remember looking at the ingredients list, which...
Why Taking Kids to a Physical Clothing Store is a Total Trap
It's 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm wedged into a cubicle the size of a shoebox at our local mall, sweating through my favorite shirt and gripping an eight-dollar lukewarm vanilla latte like it might save my life. Maya,...
Surviving the first weeks with your new baby without losing it
I was sitting in the passenger seat of our Honda CR-V on top of a literal ice pack, staring at the mirror angled toward the car seat in the back. My husband was driving ten miles under the speed limit...
Finding The Normal Baby Temperature Armpit Range Without Losing It
I was sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor at 2:14 in the morning with a lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee on the counter, holding a four-month-old Maya who felt exactly like a baked potato fresh out of...
Oh Baby, A Triple: Surviving the Rule of Threes in Parenting
Itβs 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday. I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tiles wearing a Target robe that smells aggressively like sour breastmilk and pure desperation, holding a plastic pump flange in one hand and a half-empty mug...
3 AM Server Logs and Unexpected Pediatric Data from Paris Hilton
Dear Marcus of Six Months Ago, You're currently sitting in the dark in our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the harsh blue glow of the baby monitor and a half-empty mug of coffee you microwaved three times and still forgot...
What to Do When Your Toddler Learns 'She Gon Call Me Baby Booter'
When my two-year-old twin girls started doing a weird, jerky zombie shuffle around the kitchen island chanting a garbled phrase, I asked three different people for advice on what to do. My mother, over a lukewarm cup of tea, told...
Dear Me: Surviving Your First Little Baby And The Fourth Trimester
It's three in the morning right now. You're sitting in the dark nursery, covered in a sticky fluid you're too tired to identify, rocking a screaming infant while questioning every life choice that led you here. I know you feel...