Magazine

Mother holding sleeping toddler while looking stressed at smartphone screen

Decoding the D4vd Baby Rumors: Managing Panic in the Digital Age

It's two in the morning and the blue glow of my phone is illuminating the dried spit-up on my shoulder. I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of TikTok, watching a teenager with a halo ring light whisper conspiratorially about the...

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exhausted mom holding a straining baby while holding a cold cup of coffee

My 3 AM Panic Over a Constipated Baby (And What Actually Works)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of my bathtub wearing my husband Greg’s oversized Syracuse Lacrosse t-shirt, which had a suspicious spit-up stain on the shoulder that I had just decided to...

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Toddler wearing a neutral organic cotton bodysuit while playing with a wooden animal toy on the floor.

The Giant Swamp Rodent Trend Ruining My Perfectly Good Tuesday

We were in aisle seven of the Lincoln Park Target when a meltdown of epic proportions began. Not over a toy, and not over a snack. My son wanted the giant, terminally chill rodent he had seen on my phone...

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Hospital bag and car seat ready for the jj mccarthy baby arrival

Dear pregnant Priya: What the jj mccarthy baby news taught me

I'm writing this to you from the floor of the nursery at three in the morning while the breast pump makes a sound like a dying asthmatic robot. You're six months pregnant right now, probably sitting on the couch with...

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A dad holding twin baby girls covered in mashed sweet potato

Why raising a gentle lady baby is an absolute, hilarious myth

I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that hasn't seen a washing machine since Tuesday, trying to negotiate with a tiny human who has somehow managed to get pureed carrot inside her own ear canal....

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Marcus looking panicked at a laptop while a baby crawls away

Why The Baby's Day Out Movie Cast Haunts My Anxious Dad Brain

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. Put down the lukewarm decaf. You're currently sitting on the couch in our Portland apartment, tracking the room temperature on your phone (it’s 71.4 degrees, which is apparently best) and staring at our...

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First time dad looking confused holding a maternity dress in a baby nursery

Debugging The Maternity Baby Shower Dress Meltdown In Real Time

Exactly forty-five minutes before our backyard celebration was supposed to start, I found my wife stress-crying in our Portland bathroom with a humidity sensor from my server rack sitting on the counter. She was 31 weeks pregnant, and the highly-rated,...

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A tired mom in a messy living room holding her crying baby.

The Unfiltered Shift From Mother To Baby: What I Actually Learned

I'm currently staring at a dried crust of spit-up on my left shoulder that has been there since Tuesday, and honestly, I don't have the energy to change my shirt. I’m bouncing my youngest on my hip while trying to...

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Airtight plastic storage bins used to organize folded nursery clothes safely

The Ugly Truth About Finding Tiny Silverfish Nymphs in the Nursery

It's two in the morning and I'm staring at the baseboard near the changing table. The lighting is terrible, my eyes are burning from lack of sleep, and my toddler is currently practicing his gymnastics routine on the changing pad....

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