Magazine

Confused dad looking at a massive spreadsheet of baby registry items

What Is A Baby Shower (And Why I Was Totally Wrong About Them)

I'm currently staring at a spreadsheet I built eleven months ago titled Baby_Shower_V1_Final.xlsx. My original strategy for figuring out what's a baby shower was to treat it like a vendor procurement meeting. I thought we could just email our friends...

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A dad holding up a tiny baby shower outfit looking entirely confused.

What to wear to a baby shower when nothing fits (a survival guide)

Sarah was wedged inside a floral maternity dress that had, seemingly overnight, transformed from breezy summer elegance into a highly restrictive sausage casing. It was mid-July, she was thirty-two weeks pregnant with the twins, and our own baby shower was...

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Casual backyard baby sprinkle celebration with practical gifts

The Real Guide to Throwing a Baby Sprinkle That Isn't Tacky

When I got pregnant with my second, I received three completely contradictory pieces of advice in the span of forty-eight hours. My mom, sipping her sweet iced tea on my porch, told me that having a party for a second...

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Rustic table display of practical party gifts for a baby celebration

The Truth About Baby Shower Party Favors People Actually Want

I was standing by the industrial trash can at the local VFW hall last weekend, double-fisting a lukewarm sweet tea and a paper plate of dry sheet cake, watching my cousin's friends secretly dump their party gifts. They were doing...

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Pregnant woman holding a coffee cup and laughing at a baby shower bingo card

Why Baby Shower Bingo Actually Saves the Entire Gift Opening Hour

"Don't do games, they're for basic bitches," my sister-in-law hissed at me across a lukewarm plate of mini quiches while balancing a mimosa on her hip. Then my mother leaned in, smelling heavily of Chanel No. 5 and unsolicited judgment,...

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Jess sitting in a messy car looking stressed while scrolling through baby shower lists on her phone

The Day I Cried Over Target: Why You Need A Baby Registry Finder

I was exactly twenty-six weeks pregnant with my oldest when I had a complete, snot-nosed meltdown in the front seat of my 2008 Honda CRV. I had just waddled out of a big box store holding a scanning gun that...

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A tired dad holding a blue floral baby blanket surrounded by party decorations

Hosting a Baby in Bloom Baby Shower: A Dad's Survival Guide

You're currently bleeding on a Β£40 bunch of imported eucalyptus. I know this because I'm you, writing from exactly six months in the future, and I still have the tiny, irritating scar on my left index finger to prove it....

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A pregnant mother laughing at a baby shower while sitting in a comfortable chair with back support

Smart Baby Boy Shower Ideas That Aren't Blue Plastic Bowties

I'm currently sitting on the concrete floor of my garage in ninety-degree Texas heat, staring into a plastic storage bin from 2018. It's filled to the absolute brim with paper mustaches on sticks, neon blue plastic bowties, and tiny glittery...

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A bewildered dad holding a tiny impractical baby outfit while toddlers create chaos.

An Honest Letter to Past Tom About the Best Baby Shower Gifts

I'm currently staring at a cashmere baby cardigan roughly the size of a teacup, aggressively regretting my life choices. My mate Dave’s gathering is tomorrow afternoon, and I'm writing this as a therapeutic exercise directed entirely at my past selfβ€”specifically...

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