Why Bobby Sherman Cried Like a Baby (And Why Yours Does Too)
Yesterday at my favorite craft coffee spot, the barista handed me my iced Americano and casually mentioned that letting an 11-month-old scream in his stroller builds "diaphragmatic resilience." Two hours later, my mother-in-law texted to warn me that responding to...
Why Watching Oh Enthan Baby With My Kid Was A Tactical Error
The thermostat read exactly 71.4 degrees, the humidifier was running at a steady thirty percent output, and my daughter Maya was finally asleep in the portable bassinet we dragged into the living room. It was 8:14 PM. My wife and...
Why the she gon call me baby boo meme is stressing moms out
My mother-in-law told me the twitching was a severe vitamin D deficiency. The millennial dad at the park said it was a highly sophisticated piece of Gen Alpha performance art. My pediatrician just sighed, rubbed his temples, and mumbled something...
Co-Parenting Chaos & What I Learned From Pop Culture
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driverβs seat of the Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot. Itβs 9:15 AM on a Tuesday. You're wearing those black lululemon leggings that have a crusty, chalky smear...
Why Treating My Infant Like A Little Primate Saved My Sanity
It was 3:17 AM. I was wearing a nursing tank top that smelled so aggressively of sour milk and desperation that Iβm pretty sure our dog was actively avoiding eye contact with me, and I was standing frozen over the...
Surviving The Baby Kitty Phase When Your Kid Decides To Meow
Sarahβs Honda hadn't even cleared the driveway before the transformation occurred. I was standing in the kitchen, tracking the ambient room temperature on the thermostat (a solid 68 degrees), when I heard a sound that I can only describe as...
The Strange Toddler Phase Of Acting Like A Lost Feline
It's precisely 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a dressing gown that smells faintly of sour milk and defeat, watching my daughter Florence enthusiastically lick the skirting board. Her twin sister, Matilda, is aggressively...
The "Where Is Mama" Phase Is Ruining My Ping
14.3 seconds. I checked my smartwatch. Thatβs exactly how long it took me to walk from the living room play area, step over the dog gate, open the fridge, grab a lime seltzer, and walk back. But when I crossed...
What to Feed a Baby Bird: A Panic-Googling Dad's Rescue Guide
Dear Marcus from last May. You're currently standing in your damp NE Portland yard by the rhododendron bush. Your eleven-month-old son is strapped to your chest, actively chewing on the zipper of your jacket, and you're staring down at a...