A letter to past me about teething jewellery for mums
Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug at 3:14 AM. The thermostat is set to exactly 68.5 degrees. Sarah is attempting to nurse the baby, actively wincing because a tiny, razor-sharp fingernail is...
Dear Past Priya: What I Wish I Knew About Teething
You're standing in the kitchen right now. It's 3:17 in the morning. Your favorite gray t-shirt is soaked in an alarming amount of drool, and you're aggressively scrolling through your phone with one thumb while bouncing a screaming six-month-old on...
A teething necklace for mom saved my sanity and my shirts
It was a Tuesday in early November. I was sitting in the corner booth at Red Roasters wearing a ridiculous emerald green silk blouse that I had absolutely no business wearing to a coffee shop with a six-month-old. Maya was...
The Messy, Soap-Tasting Truth About Choosing The Right Baby Bowls
Before I even bought a highchair for Leo, three different people gave me completely contradicting advice about feeding him. My mother-in-law cornered me in my own kitchen to say that plates were a waste of money and I should just...
The Engineering of Bib Safety and Dishwasher Survival Protocols
My mother-in-law told me to just tie a cloth napkin around his neck because "that's what we did in the eighties." A guy on the r/daddit subreddit swore by stripping his kid down to a diaper and hosing him off...
Dear Past Me: The Honest Truth About Surviving With Baby Teethers
Dear Jess from October. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3 AM in an oversized, spit-up covered baby tee, staring into the harsh fluorescent light of the open refrigerator. The baby is screaming loud enough to wake the dead,...
Babys zahnen: Oh Gott, mein ehrlicher Zahnungs-Survival-Guide
Es war exakt 3:14 Uhr morgens an einem Dienstag, ich trug ein verwaschenes College-Shirt, auf dem ein nicht identifizierbarer Fleck von Mayas gestrigem Haferbrei klebte, und Leo brΓΌllte, als hΓ€tte ich ihm gerade erΓΆffnet, dass es nie wieder Milch gibt....
Why your baby hates every teething toy you buy
My mother-in-law casually suggested rubbing whiskey on my daughter's gums. The neighborhood mom-group admin swore by a thirty-dollar raw Baltic amber necklace that apparently possesses magical anti-swollen properties. My old charge nurse at the hospital just shrugged, told me to...
The Great Puree Illusion: My Humbling Education in Infant Spoons
The ceiling of my kitchen in Zone 3 currently sports a rather avant-garde splatter of pureed butternut squash, perfectly preserved from last Tuesday when I attempted to feed the twins simultaneously. Maya, deciding she was finished with her lunch, performed...