What the Wendy Ortiz baby daddy drama gets right about parenting
The screen brightness on my phone is turned all the way down to a dull gray. Outside, the Chicago winter wind is doing that thing where it sounds like a dying animal against the windowpanes. It's two in the morning....
The Halle Bailey Baby Guide to Setting Firm Internet Boundaries
I was standing near the NHS hospital vending machine, running entirely on stale Wotsits and pure adrenaline, when I made my first catastrophic parenting error. Instead of texting my mum a deeply unflattering, slightly terrifying photo of my newborn twins...
What Is A Baby Boomer? A Survival Guide to Modern Grandparents
Don't, under any circumstances, pull up a PDF from the NHS while your father is trying to demonstrate how to properly swaddle an infant using a terrifyingly thick, incredibly scratchy polyester quilt from 1982. I did this during our first...
The Generational Divide: Parenting With the Baby Boom Crowd
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of maternity leggings that I had definitely spilled oat milk on three days prior, clutching a mug of coffee that had been reheated...
Why the wild baby lion parenting trend is completely exhausting
I'm standing in the produce aisle at Marianos while my two-year-old arches his back so hard he resembles a freshly caught trout. He's furious because I won't let him bite directly into a raw, unpeeled sweet potato. An older woman...
What a Netflix Stalker Taught Me About Toddler Firewalls
The blue glow of the television is casting long shadows against the living room wall, and I'm completely frozen. It's 2:13 AM. My son is currently asleep on my chest, a thin line of drool connecting his cheek to my...
Dear Past Jess: Surviving The Great Baby Saja Demon Incident
Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're standing in the hallway at 2:43 AM holding a shrieking three-year-old who's absolutely convinced the walls are bleeding. Your oldest is asleep in the next room, snoring peacefully, completely unaware that...
So Your Sweet Kid Brought Home A Horrific Joke From Preschool
"Wash his mouth out with Dial soap," my mom texted back immediately after I panic-messaged her from the kitchen floor. My grandma, bless her heart, told me on the phone to just pretend I went completely deaf and ignore it...
How Old Are Baby Boomers? A Dad's Guide to Grandparent Rules
"Put the quilt down, Mom." I was standing in the doorway of the nursery at 8:00 PM, physically blocking my mother's path to the crib like a bouncer at a deeply uncool nightclub. She was holding a blanket that weighed...