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Sleep Training a Baby: A Letter to My Past, Severely Exhausted Self
Dear Marcus of six months ago, You're currently standing in the dark, swaying like a drunken sailor on a turbulent sea. You have an 18-pound weight draped over your left shoulder, and your right hand is frantically typing when to...
Surviving Our Real Boss Baby and Who Actually Voices The Movie
My mom told me that if I didn't establish dominance on day one, the baby would rule our house forever. The barista down the street confidently informed me that I need to surrender to his flow and let the infant...
Why Looking Up Ice Ice Baby Lyrics At 3 AM Changed My Parenting
It was 3:17 in the morning, and my oldest was screaming with the kind of red-faced, breathless stamina that makes you seriously question your life choices. I was sitting on a cheap, half-deflated yoga ball in our drafty Texas farmhouse,...
Why the Baby Blue Color Is More Than Just a 90s Nursery Cliche
I was standing in the middle of our empty guest roomβsoon to be the nurseryβholding a paint swatch that looked like a depressed smurf. It was 2 AM, I was aggressively caffeinated, and my wife, Sarah, was staring at me...
Dear Exhausted Jess: The Baby Beluga Magic You Need Right Now
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're sobbing into a sour-smelling burp cloth right now. It's 3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rigid-plank scream that makes your own spine ache, the toddler is asleep in the hallway for some...
The Brutally Honest Truth About the Nanit Baby Monitor System
When I was pregnant with my first, I got three entirely different pieces of advice about watching your kid sleep in the span of one afternoon. My mom, bless her heart, told me to just leave the bedroom door cracked...
How to Actually Use Lullabies Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM with my oldest, Carter, and the nursery glider was making this rhythmic, high-pitched squeak that felt like it was drilling directly into my skull. My throat was completely raw from singing "You Are My Sunshine" for...
What Baby Justin Bieber Taught Me About 3 AM Survival
It was 3:17 AM, and I was wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college hoodie that smelled faintly of sour milk and complete desperation. Leo, who was exactly four weeks and two days old at the time, was doing that arching-back,...
Baby Got Back: Surviving Sleep Paranoia and Toddler Defiance
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen on day three of fatherhood to firmly insist that babies must sleep on their fronts, otherwise they'll choke on their own spit-up and perish before dawn. The NHS health visitor, who arrived three...