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How to Survive a Husky and a Human Baby Without Losing Your Mind
There's a very specific type of panic that sets in when a fifty-pound sled dog tries to initiate a play-bow with a sleeping infant. You just freeze, calculating the physics of a rapidly wagging tail colliding with a soft fontanelle,...
Why My Toddler Was Rapping And The Weird Raq Baby Search Engine Trap
Don't let your fifteen-year-old nephew DJ your toddler's playtime while you're frantically trying to fulfill twenty custom tumbler Etsy orders before the rural post office closes, because you'll end up panic-googling things that will permanently age you. I was elbow-deep...
Checking For Shaken Baby Syndrome Symptoms At 3 AM Is Terrifying
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the decibel meter app on my Apple Watch was aggressively tapping my wrist to warn me about prolonged exposure to loud environments. My son was hitting 92 decibels. I was doing this...
The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins
I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...
Why Everything TV Taught You About Baby CPR is Dead Wrong
I was standing at my kitchen island yesterday, quartering grapes for my three-year-old with the kind of frantic, sweaty precision you only develop after your firstborn nearly checked out over a piece of hidden plastic. I had some medical drama...
The reality of raising a newborn and a kitten at the same time
There we were at three in the morning. My newborn daughter was asleep in her bassinet, her mouth hanging open like a tiny, toothless baby catfish. I was half-asleep in the glider, holding a cold cup of tea. Then a...
Found A Baby Bobcat In Your Yard? Read This First
My husband came through the back door holding a dirty garden towel. He looked weirdly proud of himself. Inside the towel was a hissing, spotted furball about the size of a baked potato. He told me he saved a stray...
How to hire a baby sitter without having a complete meltdown
I'm currently crouched behind the wheel of my Vauxhall Astra, engine off, parked exactly three doors down from my own house. I've been sitting here in the dark for fourteen minutes. I'm supposed to be sitting in a dimly lit...
The 2 AM Regalo Baby Gate Crisis That Finally Broke My Spirit
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the top landing of our painfully narrow London terrace in just my boxer shorts, holding a spirit level in one hand and a metal tension rod in the other....