Debugging My Baby Girl's First Halloween Costume Disaster
I was standing in the driveway, sweating through my flannel, trying to solve a geometry problem that shouldn't exist. It was 52 degrees in Portland, a classic damp October morning, but my internal CPU was overheating because I couldn't get...
Why I Threw Away the Pink Plastic (And Found Better Baby Girl Toys)
It was 2:14 AM on December 26th, and I was sitting on the floor in a nursing bra that had completely given up the ghost sometime in 2016 and a pair of Dave's boxer briefs, furiously crying over a plastic...
The Complete Nightmare of Choosing a Baby Girl Name
I was thirty-four hours post-C-section, wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation, just staring at this blank government form. The birth certificate lady was hovering by the door holding...
What Parents Actually Want When You Buy Baby Gifts for Girls
My sister-in-law cornered me by the kettle just before the twins arrived, waving a mug of herbal tea, and firmly stated that I must only buy neutral organic linen so my girls wouldn't be forced into oppressive gender roles before...
Honest Girl Baby Shower Themes That Will Not Make You Cringe
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by three different shades of sage green cardstock while scrolling through baby shower themes, trying to figure out how to force fifty people to celebrate...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Newborn Baby Girl Clothes Today
Before the twins were born, my mother insisted they needed tiny, stiff Victorian dresses with matching lace knickers, presumably just in case the Queen resurrected herself and invited our offspring to a formal garden party. My mate Dave, three pints...
The brutal reality of picking baby shower invitations for a girl
I was twenty-six weeks pregnant, eating fruit antacids like they were candy, staring at my laptop at two in the morning. The screen was a sea of aggressively pink digital paper. The search query was simple enough. I was just...
The Truth About Baby Feet: Why Those Tiny Shoes Are a Scam
My mother-in-law held up a pair of hot pink, patent leather, miniature high heels at my baby shower like she had just extracted a rare diamond from a mine. I smiled, nodded, and immediately mentally categorized them as biohazard waste....
Why We Chose Southern Baby Girl Names for London Twins
Picture the exact opposite of a sun-drenched veranda in Savannah. It's 3:47 in the morning at a central London hospital. Outside, the rain is aggressively lashing against the window in that distinctly British, soul-destroying way that makes you question why...