Magazine
Baby Saja Demon Form: Pop Culture Lore vs My Real Witching Hour
It was exactly 5:14 PM on a Tuesday, which is historically the worst possible time to be alive in my house, when my seven-year-old Maya walked into the kitchen wearing one of my expensive black eyeliner pencils smeared completely across...
Why That Viral Baby Saja Trend Totally Freaked Me Out
It was 8:14 on a Tuesday morning and I was wearing Daveβs college sweatpants with a hardened crust of what I think was blueberry oatmeal on the knee, aggressively pressing the brew button on my coffee maker for the third...
Why I Took Kitchen Scissors to My Infant's First Pair of Sneakers
I was sweating through my shirt in a Target parking lot in late October, wrestling with a foot that looked exactly like a Hawaiian sweet roll. My oldest son was eight months old, and I was determined to get him...
Debugging 3 AM Meltdowns With The Happiest Baby On The Block
Here's exactly what you shouldn't do when your system goes down at three in the morning: try to read the manual by the light of a camping headlamp while bouncing on an exercise ball and holding a screaming infant like...
The 4 AM Starfish Incident and the Happiest Baby Swaddle
It's 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, though in the windowless temporal void of my daughters' nursery, it might as well be 1994. The room smells faintly of Calpol, sour milk, and my own evaporating dignity. I'm standing over the cot...
Dear Me: What I Wish I Knew About That Happy Baby Organic Formula
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the bathroom door locked so your husband doesn't hear you crying, with your phone screen brightness turned down to one percent while you frantically google what the heck you're supposed to...
The Hatch Baby Delusion: Why Smart Sound Machines Won't Save You
It's exactly 3:14 AM, and I'm standing motionless in the hallway outside my daughters' bedroom, holding my breath so tightly my vision is starting to blur. Page 47 of the best-selling parenting manual we panic-bought during the third trimester suggested...
The Have a Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lie You Actually Believe
I was sitting in my Honda CR-V in the garage with the engine off. It was a Tuesday. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs, and I was just staring at the steering wheel while the Bluetooth kept playing whatever Spotify...
The Messy Truth About Kids Losing Their Teeth (What Not To Do)
My oldest son, Beau, was standing in the bathroom hallway clutching a dirty sneaker lace, and I swear my soul left my body for a solid three seconds. I was elbow-deep in packing tape, desperately trying to box up orders...