Magazine
Why I Stopped Freezing My Chengbao Baby Silicone Ball Teether
The rain was hitting the windows of our Portland duplex at 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I found myself standing in the kitchen illuminated only by the blue digital glow of the refrigerator panel. In my left hand, I...
The Uncanny Valley of the CGI Baby in Squid Game
There's a massive misconception floating around the parenting subreddits right now. People seem to think the horrifyingly fake infant in that Korean dystopian show was just a product of lazy budgeting. They assume some producer looked at an Excel sheet,...
The Cetaphil Baby Wash Delusion: Why Slippery Twins Require A Reali...
I'm currently holding onto a wet, furious 11-kilo toddler with my left forearm while my right hand desperately attempts to extract lather from a plastic bottle before her sister successfully drinks a pint of lukewarm, slightly soapy bathwater. If you've...
Spotting Cerebral Palsy in Babies: A Twin Dadβs Messy Story
It was a bleak Tuesday in November, raining with that specific London spitefulness, and I was lying on the living room rug surrounded by the debris of early parenthood. At six months old, my twin girls were engaged in entirely...
The 3 AM Eczema Crisis That Made Me Choose CeraVe Baby Wash
At exactly 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, I found myself holding a slippery, screaming infant who looked alarmingly like a boiled prawn. Florence, who's usually the more reasonable of the twins, was covered neck-to-toe in a furious, sandpaper-like rash....
A Letter to Past Me About Baby Skincare and Greasing Up Twins
Dear Tom from November, You're probably standing in the downstairs loo right now, aren't you? You're holding a writhing Florence under one arm like a poorly packed rugby ball, staring at her left calf and wondering if babies can get...
Surviving The Cast of Million Dollar Baby & Nursery Furniture
You're currently sitting on the floor of what used to be Dave's home office, wearing those gray maternity leggings with the yogurt stain on the left knee, crying into a lukewarm mug of decaf coffee. It's like, 11:45 PM on...
The Brutal Truth About Carters Baby Sizing and Nighttime Snaps
I'm currently sitting on the floor of my living room, completely barricaded by a mountain of pastel cotton, trying to match an impossibly tiny floral pant to a top that has somehow vanished into the ether. Itβs mostly hand-me-downs from...
What the cardi b and stefon diggs baby teaches us about survival
I was standing in my dark kitchen at three in the morning, eating a cold samosa over the sink, when the photos dropped on my feed. The perfectly lit hospital bed, the flawless makeup, the custom football-themed swaddle wrapped around...