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Do Babies Sleep More When Teething? The Exhausting Truth
I was staring at the glowing green screen of the baby monitor at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, completely paralyzed by a mixture of deep relief and mounting panic. Florence and Matilda had been asleep for two and a half...
The Real Truth About Distilled and Purified Water for Baby Formula
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in my kitchen in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and postpartum mesh underwear, staring dead-eyed at a pot of boiling tap water. My oldestβwho's now five and serves almost entirely as a...
Dressing Your Infant in a Devil's Rejects Baby Firefly Costume
The single biggest myth in modern parenting is the delusion that your infant is a blank, cooperative canvas for your own deeply specific pop-culture obsessions. I discovered this entirely too late while trying to explain to a very judgmental woman...
Tracking Down a December 9th Beanie Baby is Total Madness
It started, as most of my parenting anxieties do, with a casual comment over a lukewarm flat white. When the twins were approaching their birthday, my mother-in-law declared I simply had to find a plush toy with their exact birth...
So, Can Your Newborn Really Be Born With Teeth? (My Freakout)
The biggest, most universally accepted myth about giving birth is that you're going to be handed this perfect, squishy, entirely gummy little blob of a human. I fully believed this. I thought I had at least six solid months of...
The truth about putting a camo baby tee on your actual infant
I was sitting at my kitchen island at two in the morning last Tuesday, staring at my phone and losing my mind. I just wanted to buy a normal shirt for my son. But when you search for a baby...
Late Night Lullabies: Its All Over Now Baby Blue Chords & The Blues
When we brought my oldest son home from the hospital, my mom immediately told me to put him in his crib, shut the heavy wooden door, and let his lungs develop by crying it out. Bless her heart, she survived...
RealCare Baby Simulators: The Brutal Truth About How They Work
I found it wedged between a moldy juice box and a soccer cleat in the back of my sister's Honda Odyssey. A stiff, heavy, unblinking plastic infant. My sixteen-year-old niece was slouched in the passenger seat, staring at it with...
My Honest Take On That Half Baby Half Kid Meme Phase of Parenting
I was sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor in Chicago at two in the morning. My son was outside the door, doing that specific hyperventilating sob because I had peeled his banana. He asked me to peel...