Magazine

Sarah holding a cold coffee while toddlers play on a wooden play mat.

Dear Past Me: Why Finding Your Baby Gang Is Actually Survival

Tuesday. 9:14 AM. You're sitting in the driver's seat of the Subaru outside Target, right? You're wearing the black Lululemons that have that weird, crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh because Leo decided to wipe his face on you...

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A wooden baby gym sitting in a modern, slightly messy living room

The Great "Baby G" Trap: Gear, Gyms, and Surviving the Plastic

It was precisely 3:14 AM when my left heel made contact with something that loudly announced, in a synthesized, aggressively cheerful accent, "I'm a happy purple turtle!" This was the exact moment I realized my living room had been entirely...

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A glowing baby einstein sea dreams soother sitting safely on a nursery dresser in the dark

A Tech Dad's Review of the Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother

Last Tuesday, my mom told me to just leave the baby in the crib with a bottle of warm milk, my lead frontend developer swore I needed to strap a vibrating pad to the mattress, and a guy on TikTok...

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A dad staring at a collapsed block tower while his loser baby cries on a wooden play mat.

Why The Sore Loser Baby Phase Feels Like A Fatal System Error

7:14 PM. The structural integrity of the three-block tower has failed. My 11-month-old son, Leo, is staring at the fallen soft rubber cubes like they just insulted his ancestors. His face turns the color of a locally sourced Portland beet,...

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A deeply tired dad holding my baby while staring blankly into the middle distance

Surviving The Absolute Chaos Of The First Year With My Baby

3:14 AM. I'm holding a phone torch in my teeth because the main bulb in the nursery just popped with the sound of a small gunshot, and I'm currently elbow-deep in what can only be described as a biological incident....

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Mom loading an open box baby stroller into her car trunk in Texas

Why I Quit Sketchy Parking Lot Meetups For Rebel Baby Gear

I was standing behind a deserted strip mall somewhere between Waco and Austin, sweating entirely through my favorite maternity shirt, about to hand a complete stranger a wad of cash for a high chair that smelled faintly of sour milk...

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A dad attempting to install a heavy toddler car seat into the back of a family car

Is the Recaro Baby Seat Actually Worth It? A Twin Dad's Review

The greatest lie the baby gear industry ever sold us is the concept of portability. There's a persistent, completely delusional myth that you'll buy a premium child car seat, click it effortlessly into your vehicle on a Tuesday, and then...

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A confused dad holding a box of infant rice flakes while his baby looks away.

The Firmware Update on Rice Cereal For Babies and First Foods

I was standing in aisle four of our local Portland New Seasons market, staring blankly at a cardboard box of beige dust, desperately checking the version history on baby feeding protocols. My 11-month-old was securely strapped to my chest, actively...

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A tired parent holding a Sachin Babi dress while twins chew on a silicone teether.

The Sachin Babi Dress Red Tag Incident & Occasionwear Survival

My wife Sarah was standing in the middle of our disaster-zone living room, holding a pair of kitchen shears perilously close to a massive, glaringly obvious red security tag, while Florence (twin A, the escape artist) was actively attempting to...

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