Debugging Baby Clothes For Boys: A First-Time Dad's Guide
Last Tuesday at 2:14 AM, I was staring at a pile of microscopic blue garments on the changing table, trying to calculate the exact structural integrity of a soaked cotton blend. My 11-month-old son was aggressively doing the bicycle-leg motion...
Why Your Strampler Baby Needs Far Less Clothes Than You Think
I remember distinctly sitting on my living room rug about four years ago, trying to wrestle my oldest sonβs chubby little newborn thigh into a pair of raw denim baby jeans. He was screaming like I was torturing him, my...
The Absurdity of Adult Soap and Safe Toys for Your Toddler
I'm standing in our minuscule London bathroom at two in the morning, holding a writhing, screaming toddler at arm's length because she's somehow managed to achieve a nappy blowout that defies the basic laws of physics. It's quite literally everywhere....
Debugging the Meltdown: A Dad's Guide to Unsoothable Tears
My mother-in-law told me over FaceTime to just let him cry it out or I was going to spoil his lungs, whatever that means. The guy making my pour-over at the coffee shop confidently stated that my son was simply...
The 3 AM Google Searches That Prove Postpartum is Wild
The other night, I was sitting in the dark nursing my youngest, running on maybe forty-five cumulative minutes of sleep, trying to type 'eco baby gear' into my phone with one thumb while balancing a burp cloth on my knee....
What Nobody Tells You About Personalized Baby Gifts
I was sitting on a donut pillow in my cramped Chicago apartment, bleeding through postpartum mesh underwear, while my mother-in-law unboxed a neon pink fleece blanket the size of a parachute. It had my daughter's name embroidered across it in...
Rosemarys Baby Skincare: Herb Safety And Motherhood Anxiety
Listen, my living room smelled like eucalyptus and deep regret. I was staring at a dark green glass dropper bottle at two in the morning, holding my four-month-old son who was currently covered in a bright red, furious rash. The...
The Truth About Baby Pillows (And Why You Really Don't Need One)
I was standing in my nursery three days postpartum, hormonal tears stinging my eyes, holding a tiny pair of socks and staring at what looked like a miniature prison cell. My mom had just left after a visit, having casually...
The Absurd Reality of Raising a Baby Peacock With Toddlers
I'm currently watching my two-year-old daughter attempt to post a piece of heavily chewed toast into the ventilation slat of a heated poultry brooder. Inside that plastic tub sits a bird that cost more than my first car, looking less...