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The tiny tuxedo myth and other hard truths about baby boy gifts
I was sitting at my cousin's baby shower in Naperville last month, watching her unwrap a tiny, stiff tweed blazer. The tags said zero to three months. It had elbow patches. Everyone cooed, but I just stared at it, calculating...
When Your 1-Month-Old Baby Refuses to Poop: A Twin Dad's Guide
It's 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday in London, and I'm shining my iPhone torch directly into my daughter's nappy like an amateur archaeologist hoping to uncover ancient ruins. Nothing. Just a pristine, mocking landscape of dry bamboo fiber. Meanwhile,...
Why My Humiliating First Attempt At A Baby Sling Made Me Cry
It was exactly 4:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum, sobbing quietly while trying to maneuver twenty feet of stretchy grey fabric around my torso. Maya was exactly three weeks old, screaming...
My worst newborn day and how a baby carrier wrap saved my sanity
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing maternity leggings with an unidentified, crusty white stain on the left thigh. Leo was four weeks old and currently doing that purple-faced, breathless scream that makes...
The Exhausting Truth About Buying Baby Wipes in the Modern Age
It's 3:14 in the morning, the room smells vaguely of sour milk and despair, and I'm furiously yanking at a packet of supermarket wet cloths that have decided to chain themselves together like a magician's endless handkerchief. I only need...
The Buc-ee's pants disaster and why I only buy leggings baumwolle bio
I'm standing in the blindingly bright, pristine bathroom of a Buc-eeβs somewhere off Interstate 35, and my eighteen-month-old son is screaming like Iβm trying to exorcise a demon from his body. Itβs August in Texas, which means the air outside...
Natural Rubber Teethers: The Mistakes I Made Early On
Three in the morning is a bad time to evaluate your parenting choices. The radiator in our Chicago apartment was hissing, my toddler was trying to gnaw his own fist off, and I was frantically digging through the freezer. I...
Why Freezing Your Natural Rubber Teether Is a Terrible Idea
I was standing in my kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and nursing pads, violently chipping ice off a rubber ring with a butter knife. My oldest son, Leo, was in the background doing that high-pitched,...
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and youβre standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. Youβre currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...