How to Find Free Baby Samples Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sitting on my living room couch at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I had stretched to their absolute physical limit over my seven-month pregnant belly, staring at my phone as my inbox counter...
The Real Lesson Behind the Bhad Bhabie Baby Daddy Drama
When I was pregnant with my oldest, Maya, my grandmother sat me down at her kitchen table, pushed a cup of extremely weak Lipton tea toward me, and told me that a mother's only real job is to keep her...
Finding the Best Baby Carriers Without Losing Your Damn Mind
Three days after Leo was born, I was standing in my kitchen wearing the same maternity leggings I’d labored in, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee I’d microwaved four times, and crying because my arms literally felt like they were...
Surviving the drama of your baby's first christmas ornament
I was sitting on the floor of our freezing Chicago apartment with a vacuum in one hand and a bleeding thumb in the other. My mother-in-law had just left. Her gift had lasted exactly four seconds out of the tissue...
Dear Past Me: Surviving Your Husband's Grumpy Anime Dad Phase
Hey Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now. You're hiding in the laundry room, sitting on top of the humming dryer for warmth, stress-eating a bag of stale Goldfish crackers you found in a toddler's...
Surviving Midnight Fevers: The Thermometers That Actually Work
I was standing in the master bathroom completely naked at two in the morning, trying to read a plastic pacifier thermometer by the light of my iPhone flash while my firstborn screamed like I was actively torturing him. That was...
The brutal truth about catering for heavily pregnant women
At my own party, I stood at the edge of my sister-in-law's patio staring at a three-foot wooden board covered in prosciutto, unpasteurized brie, and what looked like homemade mayonnaise dip. My mother-in-law nudged my elbow. Beta, you need to...
The Brutal Truth About Shower Gifts That Guests Actually Keep
I'm standing in my kitchen, staring at a tiny resin carriage I just found in the back of my junk drawer. I honestly don't know whose party it came from. Before I had my own kid, I thought you had...
What to write in a baby shower card without losing your mind
I'm sitting in the passenger seat of our sedan, balancing a small square envelope on the dashboard while my husband dodges Chicago potholes. We're twenty minutes late to my cousin's baby shower. The pen I dug out of the glovebox...