Magazine

Exhausted dad holding a teething baby near a laptop and wooden play gym

The 2 AM Malware Alert That Changed How I Look at Baby Toys

It's exactly 2:14 AM. My 11-month-old daughter is running a mild teething temperature of 99.4 degrees, and I'm currently locked out of my own home Wi-Fi because our firewall triggered a hard quarantine. I’m sitting on the living room floor...

Read more

A tired dad sitting on the floor surrounded by baby toys and organic clothes

Stop Taking My Chips I'm Just A Baby: A Dad's Survival Guide

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the hallway floor at 4 PM, wedged between a pile of unopened mail and a rogue wellington boot, trying to negotiate with a toddler who has just hurled a...

Read more

A sleep-deprived dad holding an 11-month-old baby in a modern kitchen.

Raising a King Baby: Truby King, 3 AM Googling, and Tiny Tyrants

The whole mental collapse started at exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, which is historically the time my brain decides to compile all its worst processing errors into one massive system failure. I had grand plans for this particular weekendβ€”I...

Read more

A dad holding twin baby girls covered in mashed sweet potato

Why raising a gentle lady baby is an absolute, hilarious myth

I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that hasn't seen a washing machine since Tuesday, trying to negotiate with a tiny human who has somehow managed to get pureed carrot inside her own ear canal....

Read more

Marcus looking stressed at a smartphone with baby toys scattered on the floor

Lil Baby Arrested: Pop Culture Headlines and Real Parenting Fears

"Let him sit in a holding cell overnight to learn a harsh lesson about consequences," my older brother texted me after I frantically asked our family group chat for theoretical legal advice. "Lawyer up instantly, don't let the cops even...

Read more

Mother holding a baby while looking at a smartphone screen with a music app open

Lil Baby Freestyle Lyrics: Why My Playlist Had To Change

It was raining sideways on Michigan Avenue and my Uber driver was blasting what sounded like an underground club mix at two in the afternoon. I was wedged in the back seat with my four-month-old, frantically trying to cup my...

Read more

Dad holding his 11-month-old baby in Portland while researching baby naming trends online.

Lil Baby Real Name & The Glitch Of Naming Your First Human

The intake nurse stood at the foot of the hospital bed holding an iPad like a threat, her stylus hovering over a blank text field while the beeping of the fetal monitor mocked my indecision. My wife was exhausted, heavily...

Read more

A toddler eating a small piece of shrimp at a messy high chair table.

My Sister Had a Baby Shrimp: The Truth About Shellfish & Babies

When my toddler started solids, my mother-in-law confidently informed me that giving fish to an infant would permanently imbalance their internal body temperature. My neighbor warned me that even touching a raw prawn in my own kitchen would trigger anaphylaxis...

Read more

A tired dad staring suspiciously at a digital temperature reading in a dark nursery

How to Track an Infant Fever Without Completely Losing Your Mind

It’s 3:14 AM on a dreary Tuesday in November. Maya is radiating heat like a poorly insulated boiler, and I'm standing over her cot, frantically swiping a sixty-quid piece of infrared plastic across her forehead like I’m scanning a tin...

Read more