The Baby Beluga Musician Was Right About Everything All Along
The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that rhythmic clicking sound it only makes at three in the morning. My toddler was executing a flawless, rigid back-arch scream, the kind that usually shows either a dropped pacifier or a...
Why We Need To Talk About The Nepo Baby Meaning In Parenting
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the living room floor at two in the morning with three laptops open. You're hitting refresh on the Lincoln Park cooperative preschool waitlist portal. You think if you just email...
The Truth About the Baby Gap (Teeth, Siblings, and Panic)
Don't do what I did last Tuesday. I was sitting in my crossover outside a strip mall, staring blankly at the baby gap outlet, violently typing "baby gap near me" into my phone because my toddler blew through the knees...
The Exact Moment My Twin Girls Decided to Become Fully Mobile
I was halfway through a tepid mug of Yorkshire tea when I heard the distinct sound of a skull making soft, rhythmic contact with cheap Swedish MDF. It was Tuesday, approximately 10:14 AM, and Mia had finally discovered how to...
The Truth About Raising Daughters and Surviving the Pink Explosion
The ultrasound gel was freezing, and Dave was staring at the monitor like it was a blurry weather map he didn't quite understand. I was lying there in a paper gown that was definitely tearing at the shoulder, clutching a...
Debugging the baby shark phase: Viral videos and double teeth
Don't ever assume an algorithm knows how to soothe your kid better than you do. I learned this the hard way at a coffee shop on Hawthorne last Tuesday, thinking a quick blast of YouTube would act as a temporary...
The Big Myth About Childrens Stacking Blocks
I'm currently sitting on the floor of my living room, nursing a bruised heel because I just stepped on a rogue wooden square while carrying a laundry basket the size of a small car. My youngest, who's nine months old,...
Toxic glue and the truth about aesthetic baby holzspielzeug
I'm standing at the stove at two in the morning, watching a forty-dollar organic maple rattle slowly disintegrate in a pot of boiling water. The water is turning a suspicious murky brown. A smell like burning nail polish remover is...
Why I Stopped Overthinking Bausteine Kinder & Let Them Crash
It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the cold kitchen floor wearing Davidβs faded college sweatshirt that has a completely unidentified yogurt stain on the cuff, gripping a mug of lukewarm coffee like it's a literal life...